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Ricky: 'Trashy' Globes are to Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate

16 JANUARY 2012

Poking fun at Hollywood's heavyhitters started even before Ricky Gervais set foot on the stage.

Days before hosting the Golden Globes for the third time, the British funnyman posted a picture of himself in front of a plastic surgery clinic with the caption: "Some last minute preparation so I don't look out of place at The Golden Globes".

Whether or not he went under the knife is doubtful, but there were certainly plenty of cutting remarks during the ceremony.

 

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Firing his opening gambit, the outrageous compere said: "The Golden Globes are to the Oscars are what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton, actually: a bit louder, a bit trashier, a bit drunker and more easily bought. Allegedly, nothing's been proved." 

Everyone from Madonna to Mel Gibson was on the receiving end of the comedian's dry humour as he shook up the glitterati with obvious delight.

The biggest laugh came with a risque innuendo at the expense of Jodie Foster, who directed Mel Gibson in the film The Beaver. 

Taking the joke on the chin, the Panic Room star turned to cameras and gave a thumbs up.

 

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Madonna, however, was slightly more combative after the comedian mockingly introduced her onto the stage as still "Like A Virgin".

Firing back, the queen of pop said: "If I'm just like a virgin, Ricky, why don't you come over here and do something about it" before concluding: "I haven't kissed a girl in quite a few years, at least not on TV".

Nervous execs had put in place a 'seven-second delay' that would allow them to edit out any offensive remarks during the live broadcast.

But despite the measures, Ricky's unique brand of humour hit the target, with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt among the many A-listers seen chortling at the quips.

 

Ricky's controversial jokes
  • On the awards "For any of you who don't know, the Golden Globes are just like the Oscars, but without all that esteem."
  • On Colin Firth: "He's very racist. I mean, really nasty stuff. Also, I've seen him punch a little blind kitten."
    On Natalie Portman: "Last year, our next presenter won both the Golden Globe and the Oscar for her work in Black Swan. This year, she took some time out to have a baby. Consequently, she’s been nominated for nothing. Really pathetic. But she learned that valuable lesson you all already knew -- never put family first"
  • On Justin Bieber: "Justin Bieber nearly had to take a paternity test. What a waste of a test that would have been. No, he's not the father. The only way he could have impregnated the girl was if he borrowed one of Martha Stewart's turkey basters. Open Wide!
  • On celeb break-ups:  "What's with all the divorces? What's going on? Arnold and Maria, J-Lo and Mark Anthony, Ashton and Demi. Kim Kardashian and some guy no one will remember. He wasn't around long. Seventy-two days. A marriage that lasted 72 days. I've sat through longer James Cameron acceptance speeches.
  • On Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster: "I must not mention Mel Gibson this year. Not his private life, his politics, his recent films, and especially not Jodie Foster's "Beaver"

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