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Victoria Derbyshire admits feeling guilt when Alan Rickman passed away

Victoria Derbyshire spoke about her battle with cancer in her new book, Dear Cancer

victoria derbyshire
Emmy Griffiths
TV & Film Editor
19 September 2017
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Victoria Derbyshire has opened up about her battle with cancer, admitting that she felt guilty when Alan Rickman died of the disease just days after her fourth round of chemotherapy back in January 2016. The BBC presenter, who was given the all-clear from doctors after six sessions of chemo - spoke about Alan's death in her new book, Dear Cancer, writing: "In an unhysterical way I find it difficult to cope with hearing about another high-profile death from cancer. And then I feel guilt – I should be grateful because I'm still here and there are families everywhere mourning loved ones who've died from this disease."

READ: Victoria Derbyshire says losing her hair during cancer left her feeling 'powerless'

victoria derbyshire© Photo: Getty Images

Victoria opened up about her illness

The 48-year-old also revealed how emotional she was following her final round of chemotherapy to treat breast cancer. She wrote: "I draw the blanket to my eyes and cover my face. The tears come. I can't believe it. I can't believe I've had cancer. I can't believe I've endured chemotherapy. I can't believe that's it. I'm shell-shocked." In her book, the mum-of-two wrote condidly about the moment she first told her sons – Oliver, 11, and eight-year-old Joe – that she had the disease. She wrote: "Employing a 'by the way' kind of style, I tell the boys there's something funny going on with my breasts. 'Funny ha ha? Do you mean someone's drawn a clown on them?' asks Joe."

MORE: Victoria Derbyshire removes wig as she gives fans update on cancer treatment

alan1 © Photo: Getty Images

Alan passed away in January 2016

Victoria previously opened up about losing her hair during her chemotherapy treatment, admitting that she chose not to shave it off. "It was grotesque and I had no control over it," she told The Times in early September. "I understand that it's supposed to be empowering, but I couldn't do it. I felt better having a bit of hair, even though it was gross."

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