When it comes to midlife misery, we need to pack it away and get on with having fun, says Escape to the Country presenter Nicki Chapman.
The former Spice Girls promoter has always been a ‘cup half full’ kind of girl. But a brush with death after discovering a brain tumour in 2019, has ramped up her positivity and left her genuinely thrilled about the prospect of turning 60 next year.
In her chat Ateh Jewel on this week’s HELLO! Second Act podcast, she gave a refreshing perspective on the challenges of getting older and urged us all to ignore the negative midlife messaging and use her simple yet powerful tips to keep having a blast.
Look For The Win
“There's lots of great things about getting older and it's knowing who you are,” Nicki says.
“Look for the win in every situation. If you're in a situation that you're not happy with, that was yesterday and this is today. But it doesn't need to be tomorrow.”
Don’t Unpack Your Old Baggage
There is a trend to look back over our past pain to figure out what is going wrong in our lives today. But for Nicki she believes the ruminating does us now good and instead we just need to accept and move on.
“Don't unpack. We can all have awful times and awful days,” she says.
“And life isn't a bed of roses. But don't unpack. If you're in that place, don't get comfortable in it. Go ‘Okay. I'm having a really bad time, and I'm going to cry all day to day’ and give yourself permission. But the next day, you wake up and you go, okay, I'm not going to unpack, I don't need to be in that place today. I'm going to try and move forward. Even if you only move forward a little bit, you're moving forward.
“Even if you've had the worst shitty day ever, take the win from that and go, ‘okay, I did that wrong. I could have done it differently, but it's fine because I won't do that again.’ That's a win. Keep moving.
Put Rubbish In The Bottom Drawer
Sometimes we need the lows to appreciate the highs. But instead of focusing on the bad times, she suggests filing it away.
“We can't always have that utopia life, It's not always going to be up. But see it as the filing cabinet of life. Put the rubbish in the bottom drawer. It'll always be part of who you are. But you don't need to keep looking at it.”
© Getty ImagesAcceptance
There are certain times in life you are stuck in, like looking after elderly parents or if you are struggling with a chronic illness. But by accepting the situation, you can start to find a glimmer of light and lean into that.
“There's certain situations you can change. And if you can't change a situation for whatever reason, just accept it for what it is. It could be a relationship. It could be work, it could be anything. Just, you know, sometimes you have to put up with that, but look at the good stuff and move on to that.”
Use Your Social Media
Yes we’ve all read the reports on how social media and our phones are bad for our health, but Nicki says we should remember there are benefits if we have a healthy approach to using our mobile phones if we can use it to tap into things that help us flood our brains with images of nature.
“We get bombarded with negativity. Don't watch it. We're lucky we're here, and the world is a good place.
“Look at your feed on your phone, if you're obsessed with your phone and look up squirrels jumping up trees, look at the National Trust. Look at sunsets.
“I've just done the Chelsea Flower Show, my feed is full of flowers. How great is that? Because the algorithms decided that's what I want to see. And it is such joy to be in nature, isn't it? It heals you. I'm in a good place and I hope it continues.”
