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Best quotes from The Apprentice 2013

17 July 2013
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As series nine of Lord Sugar's The Apprentice comes to an end and candidates Luisa Zissman and Leah Totton face the boardroom for the final time, HELLO! Online rounds up the best quotes from the business hopefuls."People look at me and assume I'm just a bimbo... just because I've got fake hair, fake nails, fake boobs..."Luisa Zissman makes clear that she wants to be taken seriously in the competition"My intelligence is like a machete in the jungle – one swipe and I'll cut my way through"Despite being one of the quieter candidates, Jason's self-belief is unrivalled

"I don't know how he goes about his everyday life"Luisa is unimpressed with Jason Leech's team management skills"Sometimes you have to do a bit of schmoozing, guys..."Luisa's first rule of business is made clear"I have the body of Jessica Rabbit and the brain of Einstein"We look forward to seeing what ideas Luisa comes up with...

"When in doubt... smile and pout"Luisa’s advice for the boardroom"We've had know-it-all come in, thinks he knows it all, he's about as much use as a chocolate teapot"Alex Mills isn't counting on Zee Shah's expert knowledge of Dubai"Both Alex and Zee are the sort of people who will talk and talk and talk. They are the most intolerable and moronic people I have come across..."Jason isn't holding back when it comes to his fellow contestants

"Let's head out, boys... and ladies..."Zee forgets his manners as project manager"Don't compare yourself to Lord Sugar. Don't compare yourself ever to him"Claude Littner sets the record straight for LuisaMargaret Mountford: "You've studied the greats in human history and cherry picked their knowledge, and as a result of that your role model is David Beckham…."Jordan Poulton: "I stand by that."Margaret (wryly): "Yes….."

Margaret Mountford: "What's the most interesting thing about you? 'My shoe collection'"Margaret doesn't think that Francesca MacDuff-Varley's application answer will win her a place in the final"The lady with a brain like Einstein – yet you got a C, D, and E in your AS levels"Luisa's academic record does not impress Margaret Mountford"Number five came into my head"Francesca attempts to explain her company's predicted £5m turnover to Claude Littner"I'll have a cleaner for £8,000 – to tell you the truth I'll probably do that myself for the first year if need be"Leah Totton explains her business plan to Claude Littner

"I think if you're going to tar me with the unethical brush then you also need to tar every single cosmetic surgeon currently working in the UK"Leah defends herself against interviewer Claudine Collins"My ambition in life is to make history. No human in this world intimidates me. I'm a believer in myself. I'm a believer in Zeeshaan Shah"Zee attempts to inspire us all"I'd like to make a case for nettles as a flavour. I think it's adventurous, I think it's exciting, I think it's daring. I think it's unusual. When you see it on a label, you'll be like: 'Oooh, maybe I should try that. Is it going to sting my mouth?"Jordan’s idea for a nettle flavoured beer didn’t go down too well with the other candidates"I'm really sorry, my brain's confused with litres and grammes and stuff"Francesca questions whether her maths makes sense during the flavoured beer task"It's a fine line between confidence and being a bit cocky"Lord Sugar gives Neil Clough a piece of his mind in the boardroom"Can I just remind you that this is not a football match?"Lord Sugar’s love of football is quickly dismissed when it comes to Jordan’s boardroom celebration"A Bitter This? Is the idea that if you drink enough of this, that name becomes funny? Or what?"Lord Sugar ridicules Endeavour’s beer brand name"I may as well take that £250,000 and put it in a slot machine"Lord Sugar isn’t convinced by Neil’s business idea"A particularly horrible idea from Kurt. It was a chair you sit on and put all your old recycling in. Old fish bones, cans smelling of such and such. I've never come across such a revolting idea"Nick Hewer reports back to Lord Sugar on Kurt Wilson's adventurous furniture design

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