To misquote Jane Austen, 'It is a truth universally acknowledged, that hangovers get more horrendous the older you get.'
You know the pain. Your brain feels too big for your skull, whilst your stomach churns like a cement mixer. The constant nausea means that being sick suddenly feels like an appealing option. You're thirstier than a runner post-marathon, your palms clammy, your skin sweaty.
I used to relish a hangover. It was all part of the going-out experience, bonding even. My friends and I would giggle about how grim ours were.
Hangovers in my twenties
In my twenties, I would go out, drink upwards of four sea breezes (no judging; it was the 90s), and the next day would be a total write-off. If this happened during the working week, I'd sleep it off in the fashion cupboard of my magazine.
© GettyIf it were a weekend, I would slope around in a dressing gown, mainlining full-fat Cokes and eating ultra-processed foods whilst watching the Hollyoaks omnibus until it was time to go to bed.
Now, in my fifties, hangovers are no laughing matter. The physical symptoms are considerably more intense. And readers, the hangxiety is off the scale. I spend most of the day after the big night out sending messages to my friends, checking I have not offended them.
These days, I also find hangovers kick in after just a few drinks. So unfair! Perhaps it's nature's way of telling me to moderate.
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Why are hangovers worse in midlife?
Keen to understand why I feel like I'm dying after two drinks, I asked no-nonsense nutritionist Emma Bardwell, author of excellent The 30g Plan - How to eat more protein, fibre and plants to lose weight and feel great, for her expert opinion.
Do hangovers get worse as we get older?
"Sadly, yes!" Emma said, confirming what we secretly already knew. "The majority of the women I work with complain that they can no longer tolerate alcohol in the way they used to. As you get older, hangovers seem to be more ferocious and to last much longer. It also seems to take much less alcohol to bring them on."
© GettyDoes menopause impact hangovers?
It's actually the other way round, says Emma, explaining that alcohol can worsen menopause symptoms. "Drinking can increase palpitations, anxiety, insomnia, fatigue, hot flushes, mood swings, depression, itchy skin, night sweats and weight gain."
Do women get worse hangovers than men?
Emma says yes, we do. "This is because we have lower levels of the enzyme alcohol dehydrogenase than men. This enzyme is responsible for breaking alcohol down in the body, so because we women have less of it, we metabolise alcohol more slowly.
"This means it stays in our system longer and hangovers last longer. It also means we get drunk more quickly."
© InstagramWhat to drink to avoid hangovers
Emma advises swapping wine for spirits with low sugar mixers, such as vodka, lime and soda or gin and slimline tonic.
© GettyHow to ease a hangover in midlife
"Try taking an electrolyte sachet (such as Dioralyte) before bed and again in the morning to help rehydrate. Don't drink on empty stomach and stop drinking three hours before bed," says Emma.
She also cautions that alcohol kills bacteria - good and bad - so can negatively affect our gut microbiome. "This can increase inflammation and digestive disorders and impact health across the board. So, for gut health make sure you're eating 30g of fibre a day (see my book The 30g Plan for recipes) and including one or two servings a day of fermented foods such as live yoghurt, kefir, miso or sauerkraut."
Happy bank holiday drinking!
