Queen Camilla has long been one of the Royal Family’s most resilient figures. But her son Tom Parker-Bowles has now revealed the four words that helped her survive some of the most difficult years of her life.
Speaking on Kate Thornton’s White Wine Question Time podcast, Tom, 50, shared a rare insight into his mother’s mindset during the 1990s. At the time, Camilla faced intense public criticism and press intrusion following her relationship with King Charles, then the Prince of Wales.
'You have to laugh'
© Getty ImagesAccording to Tom, Camilla relied on humour to get through those years, adopting a four-word motto: "You have to laugh."
Tom explained: "As my mother said, you have to laugh. If you can't laugh about certain things… that's what's kept her going I think, a sense of humour."
He added: "You have to be able to laugh at things. And whenever things got bad, we just pulled back together like the Roman centurions moving into their tortoise formation with the shields around. It was important, that power of togetherness."
Life in the spotlight
© Alamy Stock PhotoCamilla, now 77, became one of the most talked-about women in Britain following the breakdown of Charles and Diana’s marriage. In the 1990s, the public's perception of her was often hostile, and paparazzi regularly camped outside her home.
Tom described the atmosphere at the time as relentless: "During the 90s, it was hell for her, with the paparazzi and being chased at high speeds by these absolute nutters... it was a time of unbridled tabloid excess."
He spoke candidly about the emotional toll this took on the entire family: "We had to rally around. You couldn’t really live a normal life. It felt like the media were everywhere."
Camilla’s own words
© Getty ImagesCamilla herself addressed this period in an article for The Daily Mail in 2017, recalling just how invasive her life had become.
"It was horrid," she wrote. "It was a deeply unpleasant time and I wouldn't want to put my worst enemy through it."
She added that she coped by staying at home as much as possible and relying on the support of those closest to her. "There were a lot of days when you just stayed indoors with the blinds down," she said.
Public opinion shifts
© UK Press via Getty ImagesDespite the challenges of the 1990s, Camilla’s standing with the public has undergone a significant transformation. Since her marriage to Charles in 2005, she has gradually taken on more royal duties and has become a trusted senior figure within the Firm.
Her work in areas such as literacy, domestic violence awareness and osteoporosis prevention has been widely praised.
In recent years, Queen Camilla has represented the Crown at major national and international events and continues to champion causes close to her heart.
Family support
© Getty ImagesTom has previously described his mother as grounded and unaffected by her title, adding that she remains “a mother first and foremost". He also praised her ability to rise above the headlines and maintain her sense of perspective.
"She doesn't see herself as anything special," he told the Times Radio earlier this year. "She has that amazing gift of being able to laugh at herself. I think that’s what helped her get through it all."
Tom, a food writer and broadcaster, is Camilla’s eldest child from her previous marriage to Andrew Parker Bowles. The couple also share daughter Laura Lopes.
Camilla’s growing role
© Getty ImagesNow Queen alongside King Charles, Camilla plays a key role in supporting the monarch, particularly as Charles continues his recovery following a cancer diagnosis early last year.
She has taken on a packed schedule of engagements in recent months, including representing the royal family at Royal Ascot and continuing her longstanding literary advocacy work.
Though she rarely comments publicly on personal matters, her son’s recent remarks offer a glimpse into the woman behind the title.
