Like Prince George, I started boarding school at 13 – here's why there'll be good times and bad

Like Prince George who is starting at all-boys Eton College in September, I began full-time boarding at a single-sex school aged 13. I remember spending my last summer at home before embarking on a very distinctive new chapter. But what stands out even more are those first few weeks of boarding school.

A core memory is bursting into tears as I had lunch on my first day in my new boarding house, the day before term officially started, with my Mum sitting next to me and an older pupil opposite, chatting away about life as a boarder, trying not to look awkward as I silently cried. This was to become the soundtrack of my first term as a boarder: homesickness to the point where your heart physically hurts. It's amazing that in a house of 70 girls and a school of roughly 850, you can still feel lonely.  

I also distinctly remember my very uncomfortable school uniform: the high-waisted pleated skirt, the top button on my shirt that always had to be done up, the crisp green wool jumper, and the blue striped house tie (my younger sister, who started boarding two years before me – showing my reluctance to start boarding – taught me how to do the Windsor Knot over the summer).

Wiping away my tears, I was shown my new boarding room, aptly named Royal George (all the rooms were named after ships). My Mum helped me make my bed and unpack my belongings from my black Samsonite, which had accompanied me on the first of many flights back and forth to London Heathrow throughout my boarding school chapter.

Putting up photos and posters on my individual pinboard and laying out all the toiletries I had just bought from Boots, I tried to make my little corner of the room feel like home, which it can't do when you're sharing with five other girls, in my case, strangers. 

I also immediately stood out as an international student. While many of the UK-based girls had trunks and tuck boxes (the latter to store your chocolate and sweets supply), a trunk just wasn't practical for hold luggage. Some girls had even used their mother's old trunk boxes, showing just how strong that tradition of boarding school attendance remains for some families, like the royals.

First night away from home

Prince William and Princess Catherine's firstborn George will start at Eton College in September. He may be a future King, but when he stands in his new room in his boarding house this autumn, his parents having just driven away, the royal teen is about to discover the great leveller of life as a boarder: no matter who you are, the first night away from home feels identically earth-shattering.

If my first lunch was traumatic, my first night was on a par: the unfamiliar routine of handing in my brick phone, a matron declaring "lights out" while mispronouncing my name, lying quietly in my very high bed (it was high to account for storage underneath), crying silently, again, while trying not to be disturbed by the other girls who had secretly hidden their real phones in Tampax boxes so they could text boys at night. The unfamiliar routine continued in the morning: waking up in a communal room, getting used to having to queue for the shower, and using the same bottle green towels as everyone else.

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Prince George will not have to share a room; from the start, Eton boys are given their own study-bedroom and their own private space to "organise themselves and to develop self-discipline", as per the school's website. So, he may not feel the same lack of privacy that I felt, but becoming a boarder does officially fast-track your childhood. Chores like sorting your own laundry and changing your bedsheets, which I appreciate many non-boarders do at home, become a routine part of your week.

Surviving, not thriving

The first few weeks were a blur – the epitome of surviving not thriving. I quickly learnt the boarding house etiquette of Respecting the older girls with a capital R. That meant holding open doors, standing back in corridors to let them pass – there was a clear hierarchy. George may be a Prince, but he'll probably be mixing with other minor non-British royals or children of politicians and global statesmen; Eton has churned out 20 Prime Ministers so far. His boarding school experience may act as an equalizer – everyone wears the same uniform, shares communal bathrooms, and follows the status quo.

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But what probably made the experience even more alien was the school jargon – and Eton certainly has its own. Laundry at my school was called "folca," post was "slab", biology was "bilge", a school bag was a "sack". The school building itself, beautiful as it was, was a labyrinth, again with its own names like the "marble corridor", the "bunny run" and the "PH" short for Princess Hall. One sure way to make you feel physically lost when you're already mentally not with it.

Why George is all set for Eton

I can say with confidence, though, that George will be much better prepared for life as a boarder than I was. For starters, he boarded for one night a week at his preparatory school, Lambrook. The clue is also in the name. Lambrook is an independent preparatory school. So not only are pupils prepared for the academic rigours of attending the prestigious all-boys school, but Lambrook is also a feeder school for Eton. 

He'll have a strong cohort of classmates who will start at Eton at the same time as him, about 12 to 14 boys, and you can't underestimate the reassurance of a familiar face. I imagine at George's Leavers' Party earlier this summer, where the pupils dressed in formal attire and parents attended, there was a strong sense of excitement compared to my palpable anxiety, going in blind, not knowing anyone in my school year.

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George, also, isn't flying to another country to attend school, unlike my experience. His family home, Forest Lodge, is a 15-minute drive from Eton. He can see his grandfather King Charles's residence, Windsor Castle, from the town. William himself recalls, as a young boy, having tea with his late grandmother the Queen at the "big house": "Some of my fondest memories of my grandmother are from here in Windsor. I remember many a quiet afternoon, having tea with her and my grandfather at the castle, chatting, sharing stories."

Regular contact with parents

As is customary in most boarding schools, George will also have "exeat" weekends every term, known as "short leave" at Eton, when boys go home from Friday afternoon to Sunday evening. He can also go on "floaters", or "B weekends", leaving after Saturday commitments such as sports matches and returning on Sunday evening.

Eton boys are generally home every two to three weekends, unlike my six-to-eight-week cadence. Etonian parents can attend Saturday sports matches, which William and Catherine will surely prioritise, much like they did when George was at Lambrook. I imagine they'll also make the most of Sunday leave, when parents can visit on Sunday afternoons or take their children out for lunch or tea in town.

Given the modern "gentle parenting" school of thought, I also imagine Eton provides a more nurturing environment than my generation had, better pastoral care, and better communication with home. George's own godfather, Jamie Lowther-Pinkerton, who served as a private secretary to William and Catherine, recently said on HELLO!'s A Right Royal Podcast: "Eton has changed for the better. My son was there too, so I've seen it quite recently."

Life-long friendships will be made

Apart from the homesickness, the other huge culture shock for me was the academic pace. I wasn't used to the breadth of "prep," or homework, we were given every night and the pressure to always be the best, do the most, and be ultra-productive. It wasn't enough to be a straight-A student. You had to be an all-rounder in sport, music, and art. My theory is you're encouraged to sign up to every extra-curricular activity to distract you from being homesick, and to be fair, the days did fly by once I got into the swing of things.

Academic excellence is clearly one huge selling point of boarding school life. But on a personal level, it created a hyper-accelerated, unbreakable form of friendship. Some of my closest friends remain my school ones, because when you're forced to live with other people, you find your tribe very quickly. So for a shy 13-year-old, sharing a room was probably the best-case scenario.

Watching films on a Saturday night, eating all our meals together, having Pizza Express takeaway birthday parties (not in Woking), and learning to make your own fun was all part of the experience. And because we had very strict curfews and virtually weren't allowed out on weeknights, it felt almost prison-like at times. Cue: negative cohesion. But we can laugh about it now.

Privilege at your fingertips

It's also not lost on me the total privilege of attending a private boarding school: the smaller class sizes, the incredible trips that were offered (trekking to see orangutans in Borneo anyone?), the state-of-the-art facilities like the Parabola Arts Centre backed by alumna Kristin Scott Thomas, and the decent-quality food and treats that we feasted on (iced buns and chocolate croissants galore). One particularly proud moment in the school calendar, which was lost on me as a teenager, was the late Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh visiting our school to open the north quadrangle, named the QEII Quad.

Good manners (saying thank you to teachers after every lesson) and the importance of giving back to the community (visiting the elderly, for example) were all valued at school, and I imagine the same will be instilled in George at Eton.  

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Looking back on my personal experience, I predict George will grow up fast and miss home terribly at some points, but he'll also make friends for life and come out the other side far more resilient, which is no bad thing when you're second in line to the throne. William himself credits his Eton years as being "some of the happiest of my youth". It will also make the transition to university, if George does choose to go, smoother because he's cemented the living-away-from-home experience.

Would I send my own children to boarding school? A family friend once described sending your child to boarding school as "barbaric". I wouldn't go that far, but in short, no, I wouldn't even if I could afford to. Disclaimer: my sisters and I only attended because of the education it offered, not because my parents are barbarians.

Thirteen is a difficult age regardless of whether you live at home or away. You're on the threshold of wanting independence, but you're still very, very young and whether you realise it or not, you do need home. Transferring a large part of your child's youth to an institution, during some of their most formative years, doesn't appeal. 

But I know many friends who would send their kids to boarding school in a heartbeat, and I imagine that when the time comes, Prince George will too.