There is a silent power that comes with turning 50 that we don’t talk enough about - peace.
Lisa Snowdon touches on it in this week’s Second Act podcast with Ateh Jewel about how finding herself in this stage of life, when all the societal pressures to get engaged, get married and have children have fallen away, she finally feels free to live her life exactly as she pleases.
Rather than dwell on the pain of the past decades, where at times she suffered overwhelming grief as she longed to become a mother, the model and This Morning presenter talks of the joy in being a super auntie and how acceptance of what her life will look like now her fertility journey has ended, has brought a sense of calm and excitement as to what is next.
“Stepping into my 55th year I’m actually feeling really good," she says. "When I was in my 40s, I was single and thinking it might be my last chance to have a baby. You are just so conditioned into ‘that clock is ticking. Hurry, hurry up.’
“I don't have to worry about any of that now. There's no chance I'm having a baby. So it's all about me now. I've made peace with that.”
She adds; “I'm feeling like me again now, this is my era. I'm single, I'm feeling strong, I’m feeling excited.”
The power of acceptance
According to Dr David Hamilton, author of How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body, “Acceptance is powerful because it stops the exhausting inner war against reality, freeing up the mental energy needed to heal, adapt, and move forward.”
If there is something in your life that you can’t change, such as not being able to have children, it will ‘cost you a lot of energy and peace’ he explains. But as soon as you are able to accept the reality of a situation you have no control over, it can “significantly reduce any stress and anxiety you feel and free up some headspace. It will help you feel more present and help you think more clearly and creatively.
“The extra headspace might help you see something from a different perspective, which is sometimes what’s needed.”
© InstagramAccepting that her life is not as she had planned when she was in her 20s, helped Lisa move forward postively and find a new focus in her life.
“I definitely wanted my own child, but it just wasn't meant to be,” she says. “I think a lot of women who have had children don't quite understand how I've made peace with it, but I think the universe has had my back.
“I don't think I would have been able to be the mother that I wanted to be because of all the timing for one. I did have a termination in my mid 20s, but that was for the reasons that I didn't want to be connected with the guy that was the father. He was just not a good guy.
“Then I lost a baby in my early 40s, that I thought was going to be my kind of miracle child. But that didn't happen.
“There was a little bit of mourning, sadness, grieving period. But then the peri-menopause came and I just thought, I would have been having such a juggling act of trying to look after myself as well as a baby.”
Feeling more present and able to embrace the here and now is definitely where Lisa’s head is at the moment and is spark interest in new things.
Relationship changes
Newly single after ending a 12-year relationship, Lisa is looking to pursue her own passions of solo travel and training to become a yogi teacher to fulfill her.
“When I turned 50, that's when I felt really different. 50 is the powerful age when I was like, I'm just getting started. I am not going to bow down to society and just disappear. I felt like I was stepping into my power. I feel like my 40s were so challenging with the menopause and perimenopause and not knowing what was going on. I lost myself, I didn’t recognise myself, I'm feeling stronger. I'm feeling like me again.
I'm happy, excited and not scared about being 55, even though that is obviously on my way to 60 and 60 seems like a really big age. But actually back in the day 50 same scary. You're over the hill. My second act definitely started at 50 and just getting stronger and getting more excited by everything.”
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Lisa is working with Bloom & Wild, on Unmarked Milestones, a gifting range created to recognise the significant life moments women experience during midlife that can often go unnoticed.
