How to have you own Celebrity Traitors moment with a stay in a Scottish castle

It’s that time again. Thursdays nights are henceforth for takeaways, sofas and a good old dose of Celebrity Traitors. The second series kicks off tonight, with some of the UK’s most famous faces (including Miranda, Richard E. Grant and Maya Jama) competing to see which Traitor or Faithful will walk away with the charity cash prize.

Expect nail-biting tension, plenty of hilarity and sweeping shots of Ardross Castle’s imposing Gothic Revival exterior and opulent rooms. And expect even the celebrities to be blown away by the idea of castle life – after winning the last series, Alan Carr marked his ‘turret era’ by purchasing a £3 million castle of his own. He’s revamping the property for a series on Disney+.

© BBC/Studio Lambert/Cody Burridge/BBC Creative

If watching the show provokes Scottish castle cravings of your own, we’d found five that can be hired out in their entirety. Read on for chequered histories, lochside views and plenty of heirloom-filled living rooms.

For Scottish baronial finery

Aldourie Castle, Inverness

© Wildland

With a location beside Loch Ness, a retinue of staff and enough turrets to please a Disney princess, this is the ultimate Scottish castle stay. Postcard-worthy views take in the Loch or the estate’s rambling gardens, tasteful living areas mix just the right amount of chandeliers and antiques with warmly muted walls, and bedrooms come with brass bedheads and rolltop baths. Outside, things are equally stunning: pretty formal gardens segue to the water and paths trail through the greenery towards picnic spots hidden in tree-trimmed glades and a neat vegetable garden. It’s hard to imagine getting bored here but, should you, activities on offer include rib boat tours, axe-throwing, falconry displays and yoga in the beautifully-preserved boat house.

How to book it: Sleeps up to 24 in 12 suites. From £36,000 per night, with georgegoldsmith.com.

For an authentic experience

Colliston Castle, Arbroath

© GroupAccommodation.com

Many Scottish piles have been polished to within an inch of their lives, losing some authenticity in the process. If you’re after the full experience, this 16th-century one – ten minutes’ drive from the seaside town of Arbroath and 40 minutes from Dundee Airport – comes with a suit of armour named Colin in the stairwell, a library in a turret and swords, tapestries and portraits of ancient relatives on the walls. Parts have been recently redecorated, but bedrooms remain an aristocratically eccentric hodge podge of patterned wallpaper, floral duvets and patchwork quilts.

How to book it: Sleeps 18 in ten bedrooms. A week costs from £4,000 via GroupAccomodation.com.

For a wild card

Barons Tower, Scottish Borders

© Rachel Hein Photography

It may look every inch the castle, but this place is actually a Border Tower, built half a century ago as a fortress against cross-border raids. Owned by the Scott clan since 1517, it fell into disrepair in the 18th-century but was refurbished in 1988. These days, it’s full of surprisingly modern opulence – heather grey walls, velvet sofas and even a ping pong table in the games room (there’s a croquet lawn too, of course). A stay here is rather like being in a luxury hotel – expect Arran Aromatics toiletries, robes and incredibly comfy beds.Chefs are available to serve up Full Scottish breakfasts and evening banquets too, if required.

How to book it: Sleeps ten in five bedrooms. From £408 per night with Oliver’s Travels.

For lovers of the Great Outdoors

Morfae Castle, Dundee

© Bernadeta Kupiec Photography

Close your eyes and the grey, towered 18th-century ancestral home of the Earls of Dundee is probably what you’d imagine a Scottish castle to look like. Peering over Fife’s Tay Forth estuary, with daintily wallpapered rooms and pretty four-posters, it’s lovely inside too. But it’s the wider, 1,500-acre estate that makes this place particularly special. Hike its forested trails, ramble along its pebbly private beach and warm up with hot toddies by its firepits. The estate even has its own driving range (£200 extra per person per stay).

How to book it: Sleeps 36 in 15 bedrooms, from £14,000 for a two-night stay with The Wow House Company.

For ruin hunters

Mingary Castle, Kilchoan

Rising from the Sound of Mull on the country’s West Coast, this 13th-century, fortress-like structure was abandoned after numerous sieges, uprisings and clan battles before finally being restored in 2016. Now a Georgian-style building hides within the crenellated grey facade and, these days, it’s a restaurant with rooms, where chef patron Colin Nicholson cooks up tasting menus and Sunday lunches of modern Scottish fare such as confit duck croquette with apple chutney purée and micro salad or venison with winter chanterelles, braised chicory and artichoke puree. Guests can book the place out in its entirety, staying in bedrooms complete with four-posters, rolltop baths and even an ensuite in a former secret passage.

1. How to book it: Sleeps ten in four bedrooms, from £6,000 for two nights with Celtic Castles.