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Sophia Bush is over feeling pressure to find 'The One'

By Sarah Walker

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Sophia Bush's refreshing insights on romance and love have many people singing her praises. The actress believes that "When you take the pressure of The One off, you'll open yourself up to endless possibilities."

The Chicago P.D. star muses on love and life in a personal essay she wrote for Cosmopolitan's February issue. In it, the actress opens up about her first marriage and subsequent divorce to actor Chad Michael Murray. The actress admits part of the reason the relationship failed is because it was something she felt she should have done instead of something she, potentially, wanted to do.

sophia bush

Sophia opened up about love and marriage in Cosmopolitan's February issue

"In my ’20s, when I was starting out my career as an actor, I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but one found me and became serious, even though I hadn’t planned to settle down until my ’30s. But when the person you’re with asks you to marry him, you think: ‘This must be happening because it’s supposed to.'" Sophia and Chad met on the set of One Tree Hill and got engaged after a short romance. Their marriage lasted only five months. Though brief, it's not something the 34-year-old has let define her dating life.

sophia bush

The 34-year-old actor has not let her divorce define her dating life

"The reality is that, yes, it was a massive event in my life," the actress explained speaking of the pair's very public breakup. "And the trauma of it was amplified by how public it became, which was incredibly foreign and bizarre to a girl who’d been just another college kid 24 months before her life blew up."

She goes on to offer women some sage advice for coping with love and loss

"Ever heard the phrase ‘It’s a reason, a season, or a lifetime?’ Well, this particular relationship was just a season, but still, it was life shaping. It truly was my space to heal. And I was able to process all that had happened and find a deeper understanding of love."

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Sophia thinks it's time we stop putting pressure on ourselves to find 'The One.' She added: "Even if you try to avoid these teachings, they’re coming for you. This reality has taught me that the relationships that don’t lead to lifetime commitments are not failures. When you take the pressure of The One off, you'll open yourself up to endless possibilities. You'll learn to have a truly deep, knowing relationship with yourself first. Then the rest will fall into place. Reasons, seasons, and lifetimes. They're all valid."

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