I grew up in the era when Kate Moss felt comfortable telling us, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels". The nineties were the time of heroin chic - of teenage girls idolising emaciated models.
While Ozempic hadn't been invented, everyone talked about the Atkins diet. There was endless pressure to be skinny and cool Britannia left no room for my child-bearing hips.
While the narrative focuses on skinniness, my family was no-nonsense when it came to weight and this meant I could laugh at Kate Moss' now-infamous quote. (For the record, a Twirl and freshly buttered crumpets definitely taste better than skinny feels).
© GettyMy mother did not have such an easy ride. Her own mother, naturally willowy, was obsessed with being thin. "Better in the bin than on the hips," she'd tell us sharply as we helped ourselves to seconds. My sisters and I would catch each other's eye and smirk.
A changing perspective
At 30, I fell pregnant and thought it was finally time for my child-bearing hips to shine. Skinny jeans may always have been my enemy, but at least I was going to have an easy birth. Turns out, there's no science behind the child-bearing hips idea and my son was born by emergency caesarean.
But with the emergence of this magnificent child came a change in my relationship with my body. It might not be the shape I wanted it to be, but it had created and nurtured the person I was completely in love with.
It had turned a cluster of cells into a living, breathing person, a human capable of empathy and humour, with bowels and a heart and a brain – an organ so sophisticated that scientists don't truly understand it. All of this came from my body.
And just as well, because, as all mothers know, the postpartum body is not a pretty picture.
The change in your body is not something you're prepared for, and helping women come to terms with their new look is a conversation I've been having for 15 years on The Bump Class, the antenatal class I founded and teach.
'Bouncing back'
Instagram is busy showing us women who look amazing a few weeks after delivery, with no mention of the industrial amounts of 'keepy-inny underwear', the gym commitment and the access to incredibly healthy food.
The reality is that your body has spent nine months creating new life, adjusting and devoting all its energy to the creation of your child and as a result, it has changed.
"The reality is that your body has spent nine months creating new life, adjusting and devoting all its energy to the creation of your child and as a result, it has changed."
Being realistic
Of course, there have been moments since giving birth when I've wished that the wobbly bits weren't there, where I've sighed at the sadness of not being able to wear a backless dress because it would show my bra, but mostly I'm grateful that my body was able to produce my children and that as they've grown up I'm able to be active with them, riding, skiing and even climbing the odd tree to rescue them.
Setting an example
While this is healthy for me, it's also been good for my children because how we as parents view our bodies has a profound impact on how our children view theirs.
If we're constantly criticising the way we look, seeking to alter our image because we're unhappy with it and bemoaning our bulgy bits, however much we love and cherish our children, they will also question their bodies, their image and feel pressure to change it.
Now in my mid-forties, my relationship with my body has changed further for the better. After years of city living, I now live in Oxfordshire, surrounded by dogs and horses and ducks and the most glorious countryside just waiting to be explored.
© InstagramI'm fitter and stronger and more active than ever but most importantly, more at ease in my own skin than ever before.
"I'm fitter and stronger and more active than ever but most importantly, more at ease in my own skin than ever before."
Just before Christmas I was kicked by a horse and ended up with stitches in a nasty shin wound. "You're going to have quite a scar," I was told, and I realised I didn't care.
© InstagramIncapacitated, with my leg raised and robbed of the holiday full of outdoor fun, I didn't care about the scar. All I wanted was for my body to function again, to be able to do the things I love.
But magnificent as ever, my body has done just that. The healing took longer than I wanted and I'm not going to pretend I was a perfect patient, but finally the big hole in my leg has healed and I'm back to being active.
"With each year that goes by, I find new respect for my body, admiration for what it's capable of and gratitude for what it gives me."
With each year that goes by, I find new respect for my body, admiration for what it's capable of and gratitude for what it gives me.
As I get older, my body is lumpier, looser, more scarred and a bit more hairy. But none of that matters. A bit like the relationship I've always had with my dogs, the older and smellier they get, the more I love them. Bizarrely I feel the same about my body. Either that, or I'm too busy living life to worry about its imperfections.
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