The availability of parenting advice has reached a point where many raising a young family don't know who to follow. For many, parents would look to those in their close circle who had already welcomed a brood of their own for guidance. But the online space is full of parenting advice, meaning some can be left unsure whether to go for the increasingly popular 'gentle parenting' approach, or to go with what often feels like the old-school way of becoming a strict parent.
By definition, strict parenting sounds like a harsh approach. For some, it may conjure up images of unbending rules, unfair expectations, or tough critiques of your child against the contrast of gentle parenting, which puts the emphasis on empathy and collaboration between parent and child.
© GettyHowever, strict parenting needn't get such a bad rap. This way of child-rearing doesn't have to turn the parent into Miss Trunchbull, as two experts are here to explain. We've enlisted the help of Dr Sasha Hall, a HCPC-registered senior education and child psychologist, and Laura Gwilt, Swift Psychology's child and adolescent therapist, to explain what strict parenting looks like in 2025 and how it could benefit your household.
What is the meaning of a strict parent?
The term 'strict' may have different meanings in every household, but Dr Sasha helps us break it down. "A strict parent is someone who places a strong focus on rules, routines, and clear expectations," she says. "They may prioritise structure, predictability, and responsibility. Strict parenting is often associated with high levels of control and consistency. It can provide clarity for children about what is expected and why behaviour matters within a family."
© Getty ImagesLaura adds that in her practice, she often meets parents who see consistency as a form of love. "They want to give their children stability and a clear sense of right and wrong. The real question is whether that structure feels safe and containing, or whether it becomes rigid and fear-based," she says.
How might interpretations of strict parenting differ?
Dr Sasha explains that strict parenting can look very different depending on culture, upbringing, and the child's personality. "One child might experience firm boundaries as care, while another might feel controlled or misunderstood," she tells us. "What matters most is how the child experiences the intention behind the rules. In some families, strictness means love; in others, it can feel like emotional distance. The same rule can land in completely different ways depending on tone, timing, and trust."
What benefits does strict parenting have for the parent?
Though the term 'strict' can have negative connotations (more on that in a moment), for many parents, 'strict' parenting can make them feel like they are getting it right, as it can create a sense of order and reassurance. "Clear boundaries can help reduce anxiety and make family life feel more predictable," Dr Sasha says. "I often hear parents say that rules help them feel in control when everything else feels uncertain. That control can provide comfort and a sense of doing the right thing. When rooted in care rather than fear, it can give parents a stronger sense of competence and purpose."
© Getty Images"When done with warmth and communication, strict parenting can create mutual respect and security," Laura adds. "Clear boundaries can actually strengthen relationships, because everyone understands what to expect. In families where strictness is balanced with connection, rules become a language of care rather than control."
What benefits does strict parenting have on the child?
Though a strict parent may connote someone who is laying the law down at the emotional detriment of their child, this isn't necessarily the case. "Children often respond well to consistency and predictability. Knowing what to expect can make them feel safe and help them develop self-control, reliability, and respect for others," Laura tells us. "In my work, I’ve seen children from structured homes grow into responsible and considerate young people. When strictness is paired with warmth and understanding, it teaches children that boundaries can coexist with love."
What long-term effect can strict parenting have on your child?
When people reflect on having strict parents, some will recall feeling as if they didn't have a say. However, Dr Sasha says it's all about balance when it comes to the long-term effects of having been raised by strict parents. "The long-term impact depends on how strict parenting is used and the emotional climate around it. When rules are consistent and combined with supportive communication, children may develop good self-discipline and reliability," she says. "If boundaries are very rigid and emotional warmth is limited, children may find it harder to express feelings, make independent decisions, or feel confident seeking help as they grow older."
© Getty ImagesHow can strict parents be more lenient if necessary?
If you have already adopted a super strict parenting approach, you might be looking for ways you can embrace a more lenient technique without losing control to reap the rewards our experts speak about. "Strict parents can begin to soften their approach by replacing control with curiosity. Instead of saying 'because I said so,' they can try 'let's talk about why this matters," Laura says.
© Getty"Small moments of flexibility build trust and show children that their voices are valued. I often encourage parents to experiment with giving small choices and observing what happens. Most are surprised to find that respect deepens, not diminishes, when trust is offered."
Meanwhile, Dr Sasha says that allowing age-appropriate independence and encouraging children to share feelings and views can support communication. "Small adjustments, rather than sudden changes, can help maintain consistency while also supporting emotional development," she says.
How to know if strict parenting is working
You might have started to introduce a stricter approach in your household – but when embracing a new perspective, it is helpful to know what a successful outcome looks like. "A parenting style is working when the family feels connected and emotionally safe," Laura says. "Rules are respected, but there's also warmth, laughter, and repair after conflict. I tell parents to look for the moments when their children come to them with problems instead of hiding them. That is a sign that authority feels safe rather than feared. When everyone feels heard and valued, the style is serving the family well."
© GettyDr Sasha is also a mother of two young children. She reveals how she found the balance between 'strict' parenting and open communication with her brood. "In my own home, I do have clear routines and expectations, because I think structure can help children feel secure and supported. There are definitely moments where I am firm, especially around things like safety or important routines," she explains.
"At the same time, connection and communication are really important to us. I try to understand what my child needs, and we talk things through when situations allow. For me, parenting has never felt like choosing between being strict and relaxed. It is more about finding the right balance for our family at that moment, and adjusting as my child grows and develops. Like every parent, I reflect as I go, and I try to combine guidance with warmth and curiosity."
