Having a ‘menopausal meltdown’ is no one’s idea of fun. But for List of Suspicious Things author Jennie Godfrey it gave her the push she needed to pivot her life and follow her childhood dream.
After a lifelong career working in HR at FTSE100 companies, she hit her late 40’s and felt her world shift; her confidence began to wane, anxiety crept in and she ‘felt like a square peg in a round hole.’
“My perimenopause hit before anyone was talking about it,” says Somerset based Jennie, whose new book The Barbecue at No. 9 is out now. “Like many writers I am a sensitive soul and very sensitive to the impact of hormones. I was so worried I had to google what was going on with me, I couldn’t understand why I was anxious all the time about going to do a job I’ve been doing for 25 years. It made no sense to me. I thought why has no one told me this before?
“I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But it did make me change a few things and ultimately gave me the life I had always dreamed of so there was a plus side to it.”
After moving to the countryside and taking voluntary redundancy, Jennie decided to bide her time writing until she found a new job, drawing on inspiration from her own childhood living in Yorkshire as a young girl when the Yorkshire Ripper was at large. “I remember the time when he was finally caught on the news, my dad realised he had worked with him as an engineer. He just kept saying to the camera but I know him, and then found these papers that Peter Sutcliffe had signed off.
“I didn’t write a word creatively until I was 49 which is fairly late on, even though all I wanted to be when I was a child was an author,” says Jennie. “Then what I wrote was List Of Suspicious Things which became this huge bestseller and completely changed my life. So I recommend the midlife pivot to all women everywhere.”
Finding your authentic self
Finding her new authentic self later in life, Jennie thinks ultimately brought her closer to her father, David, who also had a midlife transformation - switching jobs from an engineer to a prison chaplain.
“My dad and I had always had quite a tricky relationship. He and my mum separated when I was 16 years old and we had sporadic contact since then and long periods of estrangement. But then I think a combination of him getting older, the really unsettling corona virus lockdown and the fact I was writing a book based around Yorkshire at that time and his experiences of working alongside Peter Sutcliffe, meant that we somehow came back together. We talked all about Yorkshire at that time and his memories of that and we got to be way closer and we built a relationship.
“It was transformational for him becoming a chaplain. I think part of the connection between my dad and I is that I had found my place in the world and he had found his so we were much more comfortable with who we were and I do feel like when we found ourselves, we were more able to be father and daughter.”
Tragically Jennie’s dad never got to see her incredible success. He suddenly passed away just 11 days before her publication date.
“He was so proud of the book and got to read a proof copy which I am so grateful for,” says Jennie, who is supporting Celebration Day on May 25th, a national moment to honour those who have shaped our lives.
“He was very worried that people who didn’t live in Yorkshire might not like the book. And I really wish I could say to him, “Dad, they more than understood. They loved it.”
She decided to press on with the book launch, and now February has become a bittersweet month where she remembers her dad and the huge change that happened to her life.
And Jennie was thrilled that she could pay tribute to her father in the thousands of books that now feature his dedication.
“It is a gift that I couldn’t have foreseen, but it means he is remembered in a very physical way.
“My dad was such a northern dad when it came to work ethic, the most important thing was you work really hard and you graft for what you have got. So for him I knew he would say to me ‘what do you mean you are going to cancel?’ He would want me to keep going, and in lots of ways I felt it would keep me sane. But I can’t remember any of it.
“Doing the speech at the launch was very emotional because he should have been there.
“My mum isn’t in the best of health, so she couldn’t make it - her eyesight isn’t good but she has listened to both of the books.
“It’s a surreal thing for them both. We’re a proper northern, working class family. So having Sunday Times bestselling author as a daughter is very weird.
“I do like to think my dad knows. One of my first events for List Of Suspicious things was at Waterstones and as I was walking down the aisle to the front of the stage, a feather landed in my path and I was instantly ‘oh god that’s my dad’. How did a feather get into a bookshop?”
Jennie is an inspiration to all women who are out there struggling with the menopause and wondering ‘what next?’
“When I think now ‘oh I’m having a really hard day and then I think of the really hard day I had in corporate life and I think no this is a joy.
“I’m so pleased we are talking about the menopause more now, so we have more understanding. It is so common.
“I got to 49 and thought you know what If not now when? It ultimately it was a good thing that happened to me, I can’t recommend a midlife pivot enough.”
Jennie Godfrey is supporting Celebration Day on May 25th
