For many midlife women, there will have been an overriding emotion when they heard that Claudia Winkleman has quit her chat show after one series. Envy, jealousy, a feeling of ‘I wish I could do that!’ and ‘Good for her!’ or perhaps an ‘If only…’ feeling that it’s easy for a celeb to quit something, but not so much for a regular woman to just say ‘I’m not doing this anymore’ about her work in midlife.
It's not just our jobs that we might want to quit in midlife, either. We might yearn to quit a relationship, a home situation - or just the gym or run club!
I have personally quit a job in midlife – thankfully, I was able to fall back onto freelance work, which I had done before. But it was a risk, and not something I’d recommend you do without serious consideration! In fact, there are some key things to think about if you’re considering quitting your job or your business. And these can be applied to other ‘quitting decisions’ in midlife, too.
Ask yourself: What are you really quitting?
Eleanor Twedell is a coach and founder of Another Door. She advises: “Know what you are quitting in detail. Ask yourself three ‘whys’ to be clear on what you really want to leave behind.” For example, if you ask for three ‘whys’ as to why you’re quitting your job it could be: ‘I’m bored’, ‘it’s repetitive’ and ‘the way the boss manages work.’ Tweddell adds: “This insight helps you to be clear on the next step. Change company, job, team or how you view your boss. In this example you might actually need to quit the relationship with the boss - can you change, can they change? Too often we think quitting only has one driver, but often the really driver of feeling like quitting is deep in a few layers.”
Consider whether you just need a rest or a reset?
For some people, quitting can be because you are approaching or have reached burnout. It might be that ‘end of term’ feeling, but with your work. Has it been a while since you took time off? Eleanor Tweddell says: “Be clear what it is you need right now. Sometimes we want to quit, but often we just need a rest.” You might do well to book a day off, or even ask for a mental health day if that’s available to you. Find time for self-care that suits you, to bring some calm back and reset.
Get a second – impartial - opinion
Nicky Souch is a business and mindset strategist. She says: “Definitely talk it through with someone, either a trusted friend or, better still, someone impartial like a coach. This will help organise the thoughts running through your head. Ruminating on it yourself is probably the quickest way to make rash decisions being made and then regretted.” Consider a one-off ‘power hour’ session with a coach to dig into the feelings one on one.
Step away before you make the decision
If you have the urge to just make the decision, rashly, then take a step back, says Nicky Souch. “If you find yourself making a rash decision, especially one that could have a huge impact on the rest of your life, step away from it and come back to it once you’ve had a chance to calm your nervous system and then decide.” Then, if you’re still sure, go ahead with plans to make the change.
Finally, remember that it’s a beginning as much as an ending
Eleanor Tweddell says: “Pay attention to what you are creating by quitting as much as what you are leaving behind. Quitting can be the boldest choice, it’s not ‘giving up’. When you’ve reached all roads explored, it’s often the best move to let go and create space for something new, even if you don’t know what that might be.”
