If you're looking for love in midlife, we salute you.
With an abundance of responsibilities, (deservedly) high standards and minimal time for yourself, dating in our 40s and 50s is a totally different ball game to finding love in our younger years.
If you've been back in the dating pool for several years, but find yourself struggling to find someone you want to make it work with, relationship expert and star of Celebs Go Dating, Dr. Tara, is here to share the mistakes you could be making in your search for a suitor…
Midlife dating mistakes
1. Not making an effort with your profile
I've seen a lot of people put minimal effort into dating profiles, then feel discouraged when they don't match with anyone.
It is usually not because they are unattractive people, but because they put in the bare minimum effort into their profiles.
© GettyYou need good, clear photos of yourself, consisting of a profile photo of you with your face clearly shown, not wearing sunglasses or a hat. A full body photo so people can get a sense of your style and posture.
A photo of you doing your favourite hobby. A photo of you and your pet if you have one. A photo of you and your friends so you can show that you have a good social network. In the bio, share just enough information about yourself, but not too much. You still want there to be mystery and opportunities for more conversations.
Say HELLO! to your Second Act
HELLO!'s Second Act is a newsletter for women in midlife and beyond. It's completely free to sign up and is a one-stop-shop for advice and inspiration on the issues our Second Act community have told us matter most: health, relationships, travel, menopause, divorce, careers, finance and more.
2. Failing to consider sexual connection
I recently worked with a client who said he was too old to care about sexual chemistry – he was only 51!
It's fine if you're looking for a life companion rather than a romantic or sexually fulfilling relationship. However, I urge people in their 40s and 50s not to be afraid of working on their own sexual empowerment and embracing potential sexual connections with the people they go on dates with. Try not to be too closed off.
When you embrace that part of life, dating can become significantly more interesting and less like a chore. Using your sexual energy and flirting is a big part of this process.
3. Too much kid chat
If it's a five-minute conversation, feel free to bring up your kids, but I have seen some instances when someone's children become their identity and they no longer know who they are as daters.
They constantly talk about children, which doesn't allow them to shine as a person. What's their personality like? What are their passions? What makes them feel sexy? These are the conversations you're not having if all you talk about is your kids and what they’re up to.
4. Going for your usual type
A mistake I often see is people always going for the same type of person, yet expecting a different outcome. Midlife dating is a great opportunity to try something new. Exploration during this period is key and will allow you to personally develop your dating skills and clarity.
© Getty5. Complaining about health problems
Health problems are common as you get older, and you shouldn't feel shame regarding your health conditions, but at the same time, understand that it is not something to talk about on the first or second date.
People get so wrapped up in their health problems that it becomes their main topic of discussion when they meet someone new, and as a result, they are considered less desirable. Think about what you'd like to hear from someone on a first date (their hobbies, favourite travel destinations, music tastes, etc.) and go from there rather than focusing on personal issues early on.
