From childhood, women are taught to aspire to love and marriage, with phrases such as "my other half" suggesting we're not complete without a partner.
One person rejecting this narrative is Tamzin Outhwaite, who appears on the debut episode of HELLO!'s brand new Second Act podcast. The former EastEnders star opened up about her recent split from her younger boyfriend, Tom, who was 20 years her junior.
An inspiration when it comes to living her best life in midlife, 54-year-old Tamzin says of the split: "I'm in a phase where I need to be on my own now. I don't want to share a bed. I want to be on my own."
Sharing details on the "grown-up" split, Tamzin told the podcast's host, Ateh Jewel: "I feel like I've grown up a lot more (since turning 54). I just did six and a half years in a relationship with a man 20 years younger than me. He's still one of my best friends, and I adore him. I didn't want to never see him again, so we're mates. Which feels very grown up."
A different approach
Tamzin's split from Tom is a marked difference from the 2014 ending of her marriage to fellow actor Tom Ellis.
Since her split from her ex-husband, Tamzin has been a single mum to daughters Flo, 16, and Marnie, 12, with their father now living in America with his new wife.
© InstagramProving there's no ill feeling following their split, Tamzin's ex-boyfriend Tom still takes on step-dad duties, eight months post-split, stepping in for school pickups, despite teasing from the girls.
"My youngest said the other day, 'Tom, when you actually start dating someone, how are you going to explain this situation that you come round, you share a dog, you've still got two step kids and you're hanging out with your ex all the time?'" she laughs.
Meeting someone new
While she's loving the single life currently, Tamzin hasn't ruled out finding love in the future. "I do think one day I will meet someone and have a nice time, but they won't share my house."
Reflecting on the pressure to be in a relationship, Tamzin notes: "The constant search to find someone to complete you is dangerous… I won't do it again. There is so much discovery of yourself you can do.
© Instagram"It took me a long time in life to start having a love affair with myself instead of another man," she adds. "Friendship is more important than romance right now, I don't know that I've got the time for relationships."
Living the single life
A glance at Tamzin's social media account reveals she is enjoying every minute of this newfound singlehood with her glamorous friends; London nights with her girl gang of Holly Willougby, Emma Bunton, Kate Thornton and Heidi Range; dinner dates with old pals Amanda Holden and Sarah Parrish and trips to the theatre with Angela Griffin.
While she says she hasn't time for dating, it was during one of her girlie nights out that her friends set her up with an account on celebrity dating app Raya.
© David M. BenettA potential suitor messaged her excitedly with the fateful words that he had 'never gone out with anyone as old' as her before, and that was the end of her short foray into the apps.
"After that, I realised I don't think an app is going to work for me," Tamzin laughs. "My ex and I would never have been an item if I'd been on an app. We met in a yoga studio and liked each other's energy and vibe. You don't get that from an app."
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She adds: "When I see men my age or older, I think, 'Oh wow. I still feel like I'm 30'. There are men in their 50s who look after themselves, but I haven't met them yet."
