Jake Hall’s former girlfriend Missé Beqiri has said telling their daughter that the Towie star died was the "worst thing" she has ever had to do.
Jake, 35, best known for his almost decade-long stint on The Only Way Is Essex, having joined in 2015 and quit in 2024, was found dead at a holiday villa in Majorca last month.
He had an eight-year-old daughter, River, with the Swedish-Albanian model, 39, who said in her first interview since the reality star’s death that she is still in disbelief.
© InstagramSpeaking to The Sun, she said: "Even today, I keep thinking: 'Is this really happening?'
"Getting that call from his family to let me know, I remember that I kept saying, 'there’s no way', and then everything went black. I can’t remember any of it. I didn't want to believe it. I had so many questions. I didn’t know what had happened or what he had done.
"That was the worst phone call I’ve ever had in my life. The shock was awful.
"I was crying on the phone to my mom, who was saying, 'this can’t be true'. The first person I thought about was River. How can I tell her that her dad is gone? I kept thinking: 'I don’t know if I am able to do this.'"
© Dave Benett/Getty Images for CasTragedy
The Real Housewives Of Cheshire star said she coincidentally was in Majorca on the day that Jake died but she didn't know anything more about what happened to him.
Earlier this month, an inquest heard Jake's body was repatriated to the UK but a post-mortem examination at East Ham Mortuary was unable to determine the cause of death.
The model opened up about telling her daughter the news and how it was "the worst thing I’ve ever had to do".
© Getty Images"I know I keep saying this but it didn't feel like it was real for me to have to tell my child that her dad had passed," she said.
"She was really upset, of course. We’re trying to keep her in her routine, but when I took her back to school, she said: 'Do people know I don’t have a dad now?' It's so much for her little brain to process.
“She's having therapy. She's got her grandparents and all the rest of Jake’s family and friends, as well as my family. Her brother also helps, as they are very close. He lives in Denmark but their love is insane."
Missé, who also has an 11-year old son, Julian, with her Danish footballer ex-husband Anders Lindegaard, said her children have helped her "navigate the grief" as she had to be strong for them.
© Getty ImagesLosing her brother
Jake's death comes a few years after the model lost her brother, Flamur 'Alex' Beqiri who was shot dead on his doorstep in Battersea, London, on Christmas Eve 2019.
She said: "I could have easily ended up in a mental health retreat – I’ve been twice in the last five years. I'm not sleeping well.
"Jake and I might not have been together but I always knew he was there if I needed him. I spoke to him all the time because of River. We would be in touch most days. So for me to not have that now, it feels scary to be alone.
She added: "I just really wanted him to be happy. He had so much love for River. They had a beautiful relationship. That's what breaks my heart – I know he would never want to leave her.
"He will live on in her. She will always have his family. I want Jake to be remembered as an amazing dad, creative and fun. When I think of him, I see him dancing and smiling with his big mouth."
