Perimenopausal anxiety is a symptom that many women suffer from, and for celebrity makeup artist, Donna May, 46, that sense of doom comes in peaks and troughs. During one of those troughs last year, when Donna was feeling strong and empowered, she decided to embrace her natural hair colour, and stopped dying her roots.
“I was getting so fed up with dying my roots every 10 days,” Donna explained to HELLO! “I was super busy at ITV running the makeup department, and I was also running my own business, Donna May London that sells beauty and accessories. I just didn't have that extra bit of time every 10 days to be dying my hair. My sister had gone grey a year earlier and she's three years younger than me and she looked amazing, so I thought I would let the front greys start coming through and see where it ends up.”
As the grey began to grow through, Donna found herself grappling with a mix of emotions. “At first, I felt a bit embarrassed and I was spraying root coverup on them every day because the contrast between them and the rest of my dark hair was really big. And I was telling everybody so that people wouldn't stop and stare."
Embarrassment was mingled with a sense of liberation as Donna watched her grey transformation unfold. “I felt empowered - it was an amazing difference. And not having to worry about dying my hair was great. It was a chore ticked off the list and that felt good.”
“I liked the lightness around the front of my face too. I normally have face framing fair highlights around the front as it lifts my skin tone, and the white did that too, particularly when I was tanned in the summer.”
Alongside the positives also came moments of doubt and uncertainty. Donna wondered whether she would be perceived differently. Would she feel older? “Every day I looked in the mirror, I thought, do I look older or not? I couldn't quite suss it out.”
The reactions to Donna’s grey hair varied from overwhelming support to the occasional skepticism. “My family was encouraging, and I'd say 90% of my Instagram followers absolutely loved it with lots of them choosing to do it as well. The other 10% thought I was too young to do it, and said it would add years to me."
As the months went on, Donna found that making subtle changes to her makeup routine made all the difference to embracing her greys with confidence. “I wear makeup every day anyway, but I had to keep a more tanned face,” Donna explains. "I wore more bronzer, more tanning products and a bright lipstick looked really nice with my grey hair too. It perked things up when I was feeling a bit drab.”
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But it was after a bout of menopausal anxiety that led Donna to reconsider her decision to go grey. “I'd been suffering from really bad menopausal anxiety for a few weeks. I was constantly crying, feeling down, doom and gloom and dread and scared and lonely and sad. All those feelings that I "shouldn't" be feeling because I've got a lovely life and I'm very lucky.”
“When I was looking in the mirror, those feelings were exacerbated by my grey hair and it made me feel old. And as I got into the winter, and being pale and pasty, the grey made me look washed out. So one day I phoned my hairdresser and asked her if she could fit me in that day. And she did. So I dyed it. And it's definitely given me a perk in my step. It's made me feel better - for now.”
“Do I think I'll try again? Yes, definitely. A good friend of mine said that I can always grow it out again, maybe when I’m in my fifties, so that gave me some confidence and I also now know how I'm going to look when I’m grey.”
Donna’s best advice for anyone thinking about going grey is simple: be bold, be confident, and above all, be true to yourself.
Visit HELLO!'s Second Act hub for inspiring stories of women living their best midlife.
