When it comes to relationship advice, Olympic athlete-turned-life coach Michelle Griffith-Robinson is well-versed in how to keep the romance alive.
This September, she and former Welsh international rugby union player Matthew Robinson celebrate their 20-year anniversary. But as she tells Ateh Jewel in this week's Second Act podcast, it takes work to maintain a happy marriage and healthy sex life in your 50s.
In her role as a life coach, Michelle says she has identified a pattern in which women in their Second Act are making big life changes, including jumping for a divorce that they may later come to regret.
"In midlife, I see women ask themselves whether their relationship is serving them, and I find a lot more women are leaving relationships.
"There is a statistic that says there are many more divorces between the ages of 45 and 55, because women are finding themselves, and prioritising themselves and that might not sit very well with their partner.
© Lia Toby"We begin asking ourselves, 'Is this what I want to endure for the next 10,15, 20 years?' and the answer is often 'maybe not'."
Musing on the motivation behind the mass relationship exodus, Michelle says that while hormonal changes in menopause may be one reason for this change of heart, she believes it can be a result of a change in women's state of mind as we get older, and our expectations and responsibilities change.
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"While leaving a marriage might feel empowering initially, we can miss the bigger issue that is looking right back at us in the mirror," Michelle says. "Divorce might not always be the answer to the problem, and you should look inside yourself before you blame others for the issues in your life.
"I would say, before you jump, have a deep dive into what you want and share that with your partner, your friends, and your family. Be honest with yourself and ask if it's you or is it them that's the issue.
© Shutterstock"You grow together, or you grow apart," Michelle says on the shifting dynamics in midlife relationships. "I've been with Matthew for 23 years, and yes, I came into it at 30, but even then, I still had so many insecurities of a 20-year-old.
"It's about addressing the situation and realising you want the marriage to work, understanding you have to do some deep diving into yourself. Take personal responsibility, accountability and recognise that there's two of you in this."
She adds: "I'm very much a feminist, I'm very much pro-women, but I do believe that women have to take ownership of themselves as well, and that's regarding their health, regarding their relationships, acknowledging that sometimes their behaviours and attitudes (can be what) is holding them back."
