Getting lost in stories of noble knights atop white steeds galloping to rescue a damsel in distress was a lovely pastime as children, but how has carrying those fantasies into adulthood impacted our ability to fairly judge romantic connections?
Creating a checklist in our heads of the perfect Prince Charming may be a nice way to romanticise the state of dating in the current era, but applying these strict rules to your potential matches could be hindering your chances of finding a meaningful relationship.
Unfortunately, real life throws up a few more challenges and obstacles than the typical Disney film happy-ever-afters, and while we're not suggesting you wallow in this reality, when it comes to dating, it might help to remove your head from the clouds for a clearer perspective.
Waiting for a squeaky-clean, mess-free romance could restrict you from experiencing the normal rollercoaster of emotions that are attached to falling in love and could also contribute to you skipping over red flags in order to bag a Disney-esque storyline.
To debunk this idea, we consulted the experts and enlisted the help of one of the UK's top dating coaches, who revealed how living life like a Disney character is affecting your chances at finding an enchanted 'True Love's Kiss'.
What is the dating Disney effect?
Essentially, the Disney effect applies to the belief that your perfect match is waiting in the wings, readying themselves to swoop in and save you at the exact right moment. They will have no faults, they will be your identical other half, and an entirely flawless relationship will follow without any effort whatsoever.
Now, in reality, or perhaps deep down, we know this is unrealistic, but it doesn't stop us from wistfully wishing it would happen someday. The question is, why?
Celebrity dating coach and expert James Preece has over 21 years of experience in helping tens of thousands of men and women worldwide find love, build confidence and improve their relationships. He noted: "The Disney effect is based on the belief that women don't need to do anything to meet their Mr. Right.
"He'll magically turn up one day when you least expect it and sweep you off your feet. When you do meet your Prince Charming, it will be intoxicating, and you'll run effortlessly into the sunset for your happy-ever-after. No issues, no drama and no effort required."
© Getty ImagesHow Prince Charming could be ruining your chance at real love
We know how difficult it is becoming to find love, between a cultural shift towards casual situationships and never-ending swiping on dating apps, the relationship pipeline has transformed into something complicated and, at times, draining, for single people.
However, spending time overly romanticising what your ideal partner should be and how they should act could unintentionally set unrealistic expectations and make it impossible for any date to be a success.
James explained: "As a dating coach, I know that no relationship is ever going to be perfect. If you start to idealise relationships then you are basing them on an unachievable fantasy.
"In real life, you do have to work together and there will be disagreements. The worst part about this is that you might end up rejecting perfectly good matches because there's no instant chemistry."
He continued sharing why taking action is important: "You might get a spark, but birds aren't going to burst into song. It's usually a slow build that leads to the best results. 'Hoping' isn't going to get you anywhere. If you genuinely want to meet someone amazing then you have to go out and find them. You can't be passive about it.
"You'll need to start taking action by interacting on the apps and talking to people in real life. After all, even Cinderella went to the ball. Real love isn't a fairytale, but it can definitely be a fun adventure."
© Getty ImagesLet It Go, to Go the Distance
So, what's the solution to this new Disney dating epidemic? Simply let go of your ideals to make space for what is actually in front of you. Just because he doesn't have flowing blonde curtain bangs and a chiselled jawline, doesn't mean he won't treat you like a princess in his own way.
"If you set the bar so high, then you are always going to look for red flags," James stated. He went on to add: "Nobody will ever quite be good enough. I do think that sometimes parents can be to blame for these expectations.
"They teach their children that being chosen is the ultimate accomplishment in life and that once they meet the right person, they will feel complete. Instead, we have to realise that we are enough on our own. If we find a partner, it's a nice bonus."
The expert wanted us all to remember: "Prince Charming comes in all shapes and sizes. The happiest couples that I've worked with didn't seek perfection. Instead, they looked for shared values, emotional availability and realised that the best relationships are when you work together."
© James PreeceJames Preece is one of the UK's leading dating coaches. He has been working in the industry for over two decades and has helped tens of thousands of men and women worldwide find love, build confidence and improve their relationships. His strategies and advice make sure you know exactly what to do in order to have happy, long lasting and meaningful relationships. He is the host of the 'Love Machine' podcast.
