To chop or not to chop, that is the question. Granted, it's a conundrum that doesn't preclude age, but having recently turned 48 and having had bra-length hair for approximately 46 of those 48 years, it's one I find myself pondering more as I inch towards the big five-oh.
Hair youth club?
I was recently reminded of an Instagram post by hairstylist extraordinaire Sam McKnight, which summed it up perfectly.
Chatting backstage at Balmain to sexagenarian model Paulina Porizkova, whose long, flowing grey locks have become her trademark, he mused that older women having long hair was a topic of conversation which had been coming up a lot recently and that he found himself surprised by the reaction, mostly by other women.
Asked about her opinion of the subject, Paulina quipped: "It's been in the domain of the young women and there seems to be some weird unwritten rule that when you turn 45 or 50 and once you're menopausal, you're supposed to cut your hair off.
© Jamie McCarthy"I do think long hair denotes sexuality and fertility; you have long flowing hair so you're good breeding stock, so when we're no longer fertile, we're not supposed to advertise that any more."
Paulina, who declared that she doesn't like being told what to do by society and loves how long hair makes her feel 'sexy' is definitely onto something and according to psychotherapist Anna Mathur, best-selling author and host of The Therapy Edit podcast, we're hard-wired to find flowing tresses a marker of beauty and fertility.
"Long hair connotes childhood and femininity while short hair connotes power, confidence and strength," she confirms. As many women my age will attest, I definitely feel more comfortable in my own skin than ever before and am decidedly less interested in pandering to the male gaze and yet I still find myself questioning my resistance to going for the chop.
Rebel rebel
Here's what I gleaned about my decision to lean into the length, at least for now. The first is a mini act of rebellion at a point in time where defiance is owned by my four-year-old.
After the age of 40, hair below the shoulders suddenly feels more subversive. I don't subscribe to the knee-jerk 'mum bob' (something I distinctly remember my mother doing on the eve of her fortieth, having had waist-skimming hair all her life).
The second is a slew of more relatable celebrities flying the flag for XL lengths in midlife (as much as I love Jerry Hall and Jane Seymour, Kristen McMenamy, Demi Moore and Sarah Jessica Parker are more my style).
Then there's practicality; whilst my hair is undoubtedly thinner than it was (thank you hormones and my three-times-a-week dot of testosterone cream) it's still prone to assuming a 'Crystal Tipps and Alastair' triangular haze of frizz without the length to weigh it down, and I quite frankly don't have the time to attack it with styling tools every morning.
© GettyAnd finally, and most importantly, my long hair just feels like… me. And whilst I'm fairly sure I suffer from 'hair blindless' (the latest TikTok trend doing the rounds is sparking a wave of social media users to chop off their hair in search of a more 'flattering' style), as Sam points out: "Hair is not just about how you look, but how it makes you feel and if you feel good you're probably going to look good too." Amen to that.
Peak condition
My only caveat in keeping my hair long for the next decade(s) is condition - raggedy ends don't look good at any age, although even then it's not necessarily about losing the length according to hair expert Nicole Petty of Milk & Blush: "You don’t always need to cut your hair to bring it back to life. Strategic layers, face-framing pieces or lightweight extensions can instantly boost volume and shape, giving your style dimension without losing length."
Keeping locks lustrous after 45 can be trickier, according to Consultant Trichologist Anabel Kingsley. "Leading up to and upon entering menopause, our oestrogen levels lower and this can result in recurrent bouts of hair shedding known as telogen effluvium.
"While testosterone levels don't rise, the percentage of them in relation to oestrogen does, which means our follicles have a more testosterone-dominant environment to contend with, and we also lose the protective effect of oestrogen.
"Due to hair becoming more fragile and finer, it is harder for long hair to be maintained, as it becomes more brittle and prone to breakage; therefore, it is important for women of this age to look after their scalp and hair health."
© @charlottetilburyAnabel recommends taking a gentle approach when styling to minimise breakage, as well as being proactive when it comes to protecting and strengthening your hair as hormone levels dip, which is advice I've taken on board.
My midlife haircare routine
Aside from a nourishing shampoo and conditioner, my post-shower (perimenopausal) long-hair routine now consists of a Wetbrush Go Green Detangler, £9/$7.81, to gently coax out knots (Anabel suggests using a flexible hairbrush with rounded prongs).
A bond-building leave-in conditioner (leave-in conditioners have become my hair’s new best friends) such as Olaplex’s No.5 Leave In Moisturise and Mend Leave-In Conditioner, £30/$41.40, and Living Proof's Triple Bond Complex Hair Strengthener, £31.50/$45.
On top of that, Vida Glow's Hairology Capsules, £45/$62.10 have made a real difference to my hair's swish (Anabel notes that the impact that nutrition has on hair growth should not be underestimated and whilst supplements should never replace a healthy, balanced diet, it can be difficult to get enough protein and micronutrients from diet alone.)
In short, the Rapunzel-esque locks that serve as social media catnip are still, in the main, reserved for the under-35s, but I, for one, will be keeping my long (though in need of a trim) hair for now.
After all, women in their 50s no longer dress the way their grandmothers did, so why should we lop off our locks to serve some arbitrary societal expectation?
