Michelle Dewberry has opened up about her depression that led to her contemplating suicide in 2012, in a new interview with Daily Mail. The Apprentice winner, who won Lord Alan Sugar's show in 2006, revealed that at her lowest, she didn’t want to live anymore. "I just did not want to be alive. I had this constant absolute certainty that I just wanted to die," she said, adding: "It was like being in a dark room all the time and not being able to see the way out. I had this constant knot of anxiety in my stomach."
Michelle Dewberry has opened up about her battle with depression
Michelle, 37, lost her sister Fiona who was just 19 when she fell from a building, and revealed that it was the thought of her mum going through the pain of losing another child that stopped her from ending her life. "The only reason I didn’t was the thought of hurting my family. Losing my sister Fiona, who was my best friend – I saw my mother's pain and I couldn't do that to her again," she said.
The Apprentice winner added: "There's a difference between being sad about something, like being dumped or losing your job. That's a natural reaction. Clinical depression is an illness and its debilitating. Outwardly, I looked fine to other people."
And while she says she will always have depression, she has found a way to cope with it. "I have been on anti-depressants and I have had lots of therapy. I don't think there's any shame in it." Michelle said: "I will always have depression but I have developed ways of coping with it. If I start to feel down, I take extra care to eat healthy and get some exercise."