It's something we do unconsciously, but new research suggests that snoring could be a major hidden factor in relationship problems. In a survey of recently divorced Brits, 47 per cent of them said that snoring or sleep disorders contributed to the breakdown of their marriage. On top of that, 3 in 4 couples affected by snoring were forced into separate rooms, in what's known as a "sleep divorce". 85 per cent of those couples believe their "sleep divorce" directly contributed to their real divorce, while half of divorcees now view snoring as a dealbreaker in relationships. The new research has also found a link between the menopause and snoring, even if it has not been an issue prior.
Sounds pretty dire, right? Thankfully, it's not all bad news. HELLO! spoke to sleep and healthcare experts to find out what couples can do to fight back against snoring-induced relationship problems.
What causes snoring?
© GettyAccording to the NHS, snoring can be caused by "things such as your tongue, mouth, throat or airways in your nose vibrating as you breathe. It happens because these parts of your body relax and narrow when you're asleep."
There are ways to combat snoring, such as medical devices and surgery, but there are also things couples can do within their relationship. Here are some tactics, from the experts.
Why should we address snoring as a medical issue?
The new research was commissioned by healthcare company 32Co to coincide with the launch of its Aerox Sleep Centres, which offer non-invasive treatment for snoring. Dr. Sonia Szamocki, 32Co's founder and CEO, says that, while it may be easy to just accept snoring as a fact of life, it "can be really disruptive to not just the person who's suffering, but also their sleeping partner" and that it might be "linked to a wider medical condition".
Professor Ama Johal, an expert in sleep-related breathing disorders who worked on this research, explained further:
"I think it's probably good that people recognise that this is normal, and it's not something to be embarrassed about, but there is help out there. By all means, seek it because you can't really put a price on a good night's sleep. And it has so many beneficial effects on us in terms of our concentration, our ability to work, and to maintain a marital relationship.
"I think that would be a positive take-home message for patients that it is completely normal to experience this, and there is very, very well-recognised treatment, evidence-based."
Why is snoring a problem in relationships?
Dr. Sonia Szamocki told HELLO! that she frequently noticed patients discussing the effects of snoring on their relationships.
"We were quite shocked by how much of the conversation with patients ended up being around, 'I'm doing this for my partner,'" she said. "I'm a medical doctor by background and I think it's quite rare that you spend a lot of time with a patient or the person actually talking about somebody else.
"And so, the question that we asked was, well, how big is this problem? And is it actually a really hidden part of society that we haven't really talked about enough?"
© GettySonia explained how the disruption from snoring can exacerbate other issues in a relationship:
"You can sort of see the cascade of events that lead to married people drifting apart, not necessarily feeling like they're a couple anymore, maybe they're just cohabitants. And if you then throw in other stressors, you can see how it's harder to sort of continue to have a close relationship with someone if you're not doing those things as you used to."
How can couples compromise when one person snores loudly?
Aside from treatment, the experts believe that couples could benefit from simply talking about snoring as a factor in their relationship.
"I think certainly what the data shows is that it can lead to breakdowns later down the line," Dr. Sonia Szamocki said. "And what that suggests is that it's something that you should be able to talk about openly as and when it's happening, and not feel like this is your lot, this is the cause that you've been dealt and it's something you just have to put up with."
How to stop someone from snoring
If, in the middle of the night, you are disrupted by your partner snoring loudly, you can do something about it. Professor Ama Johal explained that snoring can be exacerbated by sleeping on our backs.
"The simple explanation for that is that one of the larger contributing structures is the tongue. And when we lie on our back, the weight of gravity on the tongue tends to encourage, in these vulnerable individuals, that airway collapse, either partial, so you get snoring, or complete, and you get sleep apnea. So sometimes gently nudging a patient and getting them to sleep on their side has an immediate beneficial effect."
© GettyAma also spoke about some more creative ways patients have attempted to stop snoring, including putting tennis balls into a bra, which they wore on their back to discourage them from sleeping on their back. The experts warn, however, that these are very short-term fixes and that the best thing to do is to seek medical advice. And, while there are other methods available, such as mouth tape and nasal strips, Professor Johal says that they won't provide any lasting benefit:
"Social media is a great advertisement, but there isn't necessarily any scientific evidence that supports that practice. I think it's more a reflection of how desperate patients are to find an easy, accessible, almost cheap solution. My bigger concern within the medical dental professions would be that you could be harbouring a more serious condition, which probably warrants at least some screening or investigation."
How can menopause affect snoring?
While many people might have a stereotype in their head of what a 'snorer' looks like, there is another, less considered category of people who might be suffering: women going through menopause.
© Getty"When you go through the menopause, your hormone levels drop, and that has a direct impact on essentially how stable the airway is at night," Dr. Szamocki explained. "And so what many women find when they go through menopause is they suddenly start snoring, which is really, really embarrassing for some people, because you just don't know where it's coming from.
"There's a really good hormonal reason for it. And we're not very good as a society, anyway, at discussing and talking about menopause and recognising its impact on women and women seeking help… I think that we could do a bit more to raise awareness for that."
