If the idea of countless parties, family visits and catch-ups with friends has you feeling tired before the festive season has even started, you're not alone. Social fatigue is incredibly common at this time of year, when there is more pressure than usual to be sociable and embrace the festive cheer.
With these expert tips and self-help practices, you should be able to stick to your plans throughout December and maintain your social battery through to New Year's Eve, without getting overwhelmed.
What are the symptoms of social fatigue?
You may feel that your urge to stay in and cancel plans over Christmas is a sign of you being anti-social, but social fatigue is something that can impact anyone and may present with both mental and physical symptoms.
"Social fatigue can look like emotional depletion, irritability, mental fog, and a strong urge to withdraw from social interactions. People often notice they feel 'done' or 'checked out' socially even during events they normally enjoy," explains Sarah Hodges, LMFT, Therapy Network Manager at Headspace. "This can also manifest itself as psychosomatic symptoms like headaches, tightness in the shoulders, or overall heaviness."
Is it normal to be exhausted during the Christmas break?
It may be a relief to learn that you won't be the only person feeling this way, and the demands of the festive season can get to even the most outgoing people, with the disruption to normal routines contributing to social fatigue and overwhelm.
"The holiday season often comes with disrupted routines, increased family expectations, travel, and constant stimulation. Even positive gatherings can be draining, so it’s common to feel tired once things slow down," Sarah explains.
"A lot of people also find they feel more tired once they finally stop and take a break from work and other commitments, too. There are various reasons for this, for example, when you’ve been running on adrenaline/stress, juggling deadlines and child care, your nervous system stays in a high-alert mode. The moment you stop and take a break, your body finally has permission to rest, which can feel like a crash."
This may have an impact on your immune system, too. "Another factor is that when you slow down, your immune system also finally gets a chance to fight things off - which explains why so many people catch illness as soon as they take time off," Sarah adds.
Who may be more prone to feeling social fatigue?
There are some people who may be particularly prone to experiencing social fatigue, as the therapist explains: "Parents, caregivers, introverts, and highly sensitive individuals tend to feel social fatigue more quickly. Anyone already experiencing stress, burnout, or navigation grief may also have a lower threshold for social demands that the holidays often bring."
Meanwhile, Sarah Turner, Psychotherapist MBACP (Accred) at Flourish Midlife, says that women are also more susceptible to social fatigue. "The roles we embody as women - partner, wife, mother - mean we are often the backbone of the family - the ones organising and holding everything together, which can often mean added pressure," she says.
"If you’re someone who feels responsible for managing the emotional tone of a room - the host, checking in on others, making sure everyone is okay, smoothing over tension - you may be especially vulnerable, because that emotional labour adds an extra layer of exhaustion."
How to deal with social overwhelm:
Thankfully, there are some effective ways you can manage social fatigue without cancelling all of your plans and hibernating throughout the festive season.
"Pace your plans, set clear boundaries, and build in recovery time between gatherings. Stepping away briefly can also help, such as stepping outside, into a quiet room, or even just taking a few deep breaths can help reset your nervous system," says Sarah Hodges. "A simple mindfulness check-in, like noticing your breath or how your body feels in the moment, can also help you ground and regain a sense of control during social situations."
Meanwhile, there's no shame in cancelling plans if you need to, according to psychotherapist Sarah Turner. "Christmas tends to bring extra demands, so it’s essential to manage your boundaries and learn to say no when needed. Try to be fair to yourself and make sure you’re not always putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own. And don’t apologise for sticking to your values," she says.
"If you’re at capacity or simply need a night off, be honest - there’s no shame in that. Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect. By being clear and kind, you’re protecting your wellbeing and modelling healthy limits for others too."