A-Level results day is upon us. It is the day that 18-year-olds up and down the country have been waiting for all summer as they patiently await the grades that take them down their next path.
Whether your child is looking to go to university, has applied for an apprenticeship, or is looking to enter employment, it is an emotional day full of ups and downs - for the teens and their parents.
For many, it is an exciting day that opens the door to their child's next chapter, but other times, plans may go awry, and parents will want to support their child in the best way possible as they navigate their next steps.
© GettyHELLO! spoke to a host of experts to hear how parents can support their child on this emotional day, whether it be a day of celebration or re-evaluation.
They also reveal the top parenting tip to avoid entirely to make sure that your teen's emotions don't "escalate" during what is already a pressing time.
What emotions may my child feel ahead of results day?
The entire A-level experience can prompt the full spectrum of emotions. "Those who felt they did well may be looking forward to their results, anxious purely to the anticipation of what they received, eager for the next chapter," says Dr. Rachael Molitor, chartered psychologist and lecturer at Coventry University.
"Others, on the other hand, may be feeling worried and anxious in the lead-up to A-Level results day, for concern over how they may have done on their exams.
"This is a normal and understandable response to the degree of time dedication and effort that your qualifications have taken, and the perceived stakes of future academic ventures involved."
© GettyThose who receive the grades they hoped for will feel elated. However, it can be a tough day for those whose grades fall short of what they expected or needed to get into their university of choice.
"It is common for teens to feel disappointment, frustration, or sadness if their grades and results are below their perceived expectations for themselves or their family and peers," Dr. Rachael explains.
"Some teens may experience a mixture of these emotions, finding it difficult to process their feelings immediately, leading to a dissonance between how they act and how they feel."
The psychologist adds that some teens may experience tears, while others may show no emotion at all regarding their results, as it is common to take time to come to terms with their grades and what it means for their next steps.
© GettyWhat not to do as the parent of a teen
While there is a lot of useful advice on how to guide your teen through the big day, it's important to be aware of some things to avoid to make sure emotions don't get the better of your child.
Lindsey Wright, Senior Tutor at leading education platform TutorsValley, shared a few tips on what not to do and say to your child who is in the thick of stress and emotion.
The biggest mistake you can make is by taking away their phone or limiting their time online.
"Some parents try to 'protect' their child by limiting social media or taking away their phone. But this can be counterproductive as, for many teens, it's their way of staying connected to friends who are going through the same thing. Taking that away the night before results day can just make them feel more isolated and anxious."
© Getty ImagesShe added: "Equally, while well-meaning, going to extremes to try to calm them down can have the opposite effect and make them feel smothered and on edge. Keeping life as normal as possible helps signal that this is just another day, which can prevent nerves from escalating."
Another 'don't' that Lindsey mentions is bringing up results day in the final days and hours. "It's far better to talk about other things, like plans for the rest of the summer, or anything that takes their mind off the countdown."
She added: "Avoid the urge to keep saying 'everything will be fine.' While well-meant, it can feel dismissive. Your child might be trying to open up to you, so you want to do everything you can to create a space where they're free to talk about what’s worrying them.
"Also, try not to use language that ramps up nerves, like 'you must be nervous.' Teens often take their emotional cues from you.
How can a parent support their teen?
It can be difficult to help your child navigate their next steps on what is an emotionally charged day, but Dr. Rachael offers some expert advice to help. "It is crucial to show empathy and understanding for your teen if they did not receive the results they were hoping for," she tells us.
"Instead of leaning straight into potential blame or criticism, validate their feelings by allowing them to communicate their sadness and frustration with you without looking to provide excuses for their results.
© Getty"It may be that your expectations of the grades may differ from their own, and a dissonance between what they wanted and what they received may be evident," the expert continues.
"Try to encourage open communication, allowing them to discuss their feelings and emotions without judgment or directly finding a solution. Sometimes just having the platform to talk through their feelings helps to consolidate it not only in their own mind but out loud for others."
She also reminds parents to reassure them that their overall worth is not defined by exam results alone and that there are many paths to success.
How can I support my child through the clearing process?
Some teens find themselves in the position where they may not have been accepted into their chosen university, but will go through the clearing process to see which other universities may offer a course that will accept their grades.
This can be stressful if your child's future feels uncertain, but Dr. Rachael says parents can help practically and emotionally.
© Getty"A parent can help their child through clearing by offering practical support in researching courses and universities," she reminds parents. "Try to avoid putting your point of view across about particular areas and allow your teen to make their own decisions in the future.
"Highlight practical areas they may not have thought of, regarding travelling back home or living in a city or on campus."
Dr. Rachael also encourages parents to reassure their children that clearing is a common process and not purely for those who have not received their desired grades, but instead for people looking for a new or different direction.
"Many people who have gone through clearing have been extremely successful in their degrees and future careers. Clearing is an opportunity and should not be repackaged as an alternative due to disappointment or failure."
© GettyHow can I support my child who hasn't secured a place at university?
This can be difficult for your teen to process. However, Dr. Hazel Fernandes, consultant child and adolescent psychiatrist at Schoen Clinic Chelsea, encourages parents to help their child see that all is not lost.
"We all know of great minds and so many prominent people who did not complete university education," she points out. "What teenagers need is the belief that all obstacles are surmountable. A parent or carer's role during A-level results is to provide that safety net of emotional and constructive support."
© GettyWhat about my child who has decided against going to university?
Some teens find themselves in the opposing position - they may have received the grades needed to get into university, but may have decided this is no longer a path they wish to pursue. Though the teen may be taking control of the situation by changing their mind, it can result in feelings of uncertainty, or like their future is at odds with that of their friends.
"By supporting them to explore alternative options, you are showing active listening and empathy," Dr. Rachael explains. "This will increase the likelihood that your teen will come to you for further advice and support.
"Helping them explore alternative options calmly and rationally such as employment, gap years, or vocational training, will show them you are allowing them to take the reins and are there to support them when needed."
© GettyShe adds: "Everyone's journey is different and comparing themselves to their friends and peers is not only unhelpful but can lead to feelings of inadequacy and a failure in their perceived social comparison.
"Focus on their individual achievements and how they have succeeded. Remind them that everyone is different, and how their friends may have succeeded in one thing may be more difficult for them in another."
How can I support my neurodiverse child through this emotional day?
It goes without saying that, like neurotypical children, no neurodiverse child will react the same as another. However, Dr. Hazel Fernandes offers some tips for parents supporting a teen with neurodiversity.
She says that for teens with autism, "the degree of rigidity of thought, how they express their emotions, and the need to meet set expectations can prove to be challenging. For these children, it is vital that the outcome of results is associated with planned actions. Presenting a visual guide for this is crucial in addressing outcomes."
© GettyDr. Hazel says that "procrastination, disorganisation of thoughts, difficulty making choices can be frustrating, leading to emotional dysregulation" for teens with ADHD.
"When dysregulated, it is difficult to make sound decisions. Hence, it is important for parents/carers, along with the child, to discuss outcomes and plans when all are calm."
How can my child's school support them?
Your child's school will have their best interests at heart and can help you support your child through their next steps. They can offer advice when it comes to alternatives to university with their wealth of past experience being a supportive ear on the annual results day.
Dr. Hazel reminds parents that they are not alone in helping their child through their next steps and a supportive school will provide parents with links and handouts throughout the A-levels to explain their post-school options.
