There is no question that Harriet Phillips is embracing tradition after marrying into the royal family. Ten days after her wedding to Peter Phillips, the Princess Royal's son, she was drinking champagne in the royal box at Royal Ascot with a name badge announcing her as Mrs Peter Phillips.
Wives being known by their husbands' names is a thorny issue in modern etiquette.
Harriet was not alone in styling herself that way. Carole Middleton and her daughter-in-law Alizee Thevenet wore badges bearing the names "Mrs Michael Middleton" and "Mrs James Middleton".
Zara Tindall, who is described on the official British Royal Family website as Mrs Michael Tindall, showed the ambiguities of etiquette by appearing as "Mrs Zara Tindall" on Wednesday but "Mrs Mike Tindall" on Friday. Whether by accident or design, she flipped from modern to traditional in the same week. Beyond the royal box, the Spice Girl Geri Halliwell-Horner styled herself Mrs Geraldine Horner. Who is the poshest Spice now?
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© Getty ImagesSo it is not Royal Ascot's insistence, but an individual's choice whether to maintain a tradition that arose centuries ago, when a married woman had a higher status than an unmarried one.
Debrett's noted in its first edition of Correct Form in 1970 that a married woman using her own Christian name or initials "implies that her marriage was dissolved" and that "this mistake is frequently made".
© WireImageBy 1976, Correct Form added the grudging footnote that "ladies, especially those engaged in business or the professions, who prefer not to disclose their marital status, have recently taken to using the prefix 'Ms'" but urged readers not to use it "unless a lady has indicated this preference, because it offends many more than it pleases".
Women who become princesses by marriage are styled with their husband's name by default. Princess Michael of Kent is so commonly known as such that few people know that her Christian name is Marie-Christine. Kate escaped being referred to as Princess William because there is a get-out that wives of peers are known by that title. William was given a peerage on the morning of their wedding, allowing Kate to be styled Duchess of Cambridge. Meghan Markle similarly avoided becoming Princess Henry when Harry was made Duke of Sussex their wedding day, giving her the title Duchess of Sussex. Diana Spencer became Diana, Princess of Wales upon marriage and was never formally known as Princess Diana or Princess Charles.
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© AFP via Getty ImagesDebretts now refuses to damn either form of address. “Traditionally, it is considered incorrect for a married woman or a widow to be addressed by her own forename or initials, as this implies that her marriage has been dissolved," it says. "However, it is becoming increasingly customary for married women and widows to use their own forenames and initials."
However, there has been a shift at the next event in the British summer season: Wimbledon.
Until 2022, the championships insisted on describing women with the prefix Miss or Mrs while men lacked Mr.
More extraordinarily, married women's names were recorded in gold lettering with their husband's names. Chris Evert was named Miss C M Evert for her victories in 1974 and 1976 but for her third in 1981 she was listed as Mrs J M Lloyd because she was married to John Lloyd from 1979 to 1987.
© GettyThe tradition irritated Chris, who remarked that she only ever used her maiden name in tennis.
"As proud as I was to be married to John at the time, it was my name that deserved to be on the honor board!" she wrote in 2022. The board has been revised to reflect her views.
