There's nothing I love more than catching up with girlfriends over a coffee or glass of wine and, while we get busy dissecting our relationships and the latest episode of Housewives of Beverly Hills, let's be honest: there's also the quick scan.
You know the one - the discreet once-over we give each other when we meet. This doesn't come from a place of mean-spirited judgment or competition; rather, it's a gentle check-in: "How's she looking? Is she okay? She looks wonderful/a bit tired/glowing! Has she had something done?"
I don't think of it as being nosy - we're comparing notes. Comparing faces, skin, energy levels, and the way our midlife bodies are holding up.
If someone isn't quite themselves, we can talk about it and offer support - and if someone's looking especially fresh, you can bet we want to know the secret. A new serum? More sleep? Or maybe, a tweakment?
This is where things get interesting - and sometimes, a little frustrating. Because often, when we do ask, we're met with coy smiles and vague answers. And I get it - we Gen Xers aren't used to sharing the ins and outs of our lives and looks like our daughters' generation is.
© InstagramThere's a long-standing rule that it’s impolite to pry. Well, I'm all for breaking the rules and being honest and open about tweakments - and I believe it should absolutely be part of the midlife girl code.
That’s why 68-year-old TV star and face of beauty brand Charlotte Tilbury, Kim Cattrall's recent comment in Grazia made me pause. When asked how she stays looking and feeling so good, she said: "I want to look good, of course - who doesn't? But I want to feel good while looking good, and it's my choice how I do that, and no one else's business."
And while I respect her right to privacy - and yes, it is her business - there's something in that response that makes me want to shout: "Oh come on, Kim, you look fabulous - please tell us what works for you!" Because when women choose to share what's worked for them, it feels like they're not just revealing secrets - they're offering support. They're helping the rest of us make more informed, empowered choices about ageing well.
Let's talk about tweakments
It's funny that when it comes to the magic moisturiser that finally sorted our dry skin, or the jeans that lift your bum like a Pilates class in denim form, or a brilliant restaurant for bottomless brunches, we can't stop talking about it.
We'll happily send our WhatsApp groups the link, tag the brand, or name-drop the hairdresser who turned our frizzy hair into a silky, wavy curtain of joy. So why does that spirit of sharing so often stop at tweakments?
© GettyMaybe it's a hangover from the belief that ageing naturally is somehow more authentic.
Or perhaps owning up to a tweakment feels like cheating, as if we've broken an unspoken ageing contract. It might even be tied to the idea that tweakments are vain, or that doing something to make us feel better about how we look is somehow letting the side down.
I think it's time we started seeing tweakments as part of our wider wellbeing. Speaking openly - about the good, the bad, and everything in between - normalises the journey and gives others the knowledge to decide what’s right for them.
As Dr. Amiee Vyas at Doctor Amiee Facial Aesthetics & Skin puts it: "The moment women begin to speak openly, the shame starts to dissolve. They reclaim their power - and that's deeply liberating. When we treat aesthetic care as part of overall wellbeing, it stops being superficial and starts being personal."
And we all know that when we look good, we feel good. Dr. Amiee goes on to say: "I see women light up with confidence after even subtle treatments, and that inner glow often radiates into their relationships, careers, and how they see themselves. Breaking the silence is the first step to reclaiming joy."
My favourite midlife tweakments
As a writer and former beauty editor who often gets invited to try the latest facials and aesthetic treatments, I feel I owe it to my readers and loyal midlife audience on social media to share my findings truthfully.
While I've always been filler-avoidant (the image of lovely actress Leslie Ash's botched lip filler back in 2002 still haunts my nightmares), I have been known to dabble in a tweakment or two. Here's what I’ve discovered...
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For relaxed lines
I had three areas 'relaxed' a couple of Christmases ago - forehead, eleven lines, and around the eyes. I was mid-50s and wondered whether I'd left it too late, worrying that a smooth upper face might accentuate my jowls.
But my practitioner knew exactly how to administer the Botox to achieve the natural results I wanted.
Verdict: A couple of weeks post-treatment, the effects had fully kicked in - and it was a success. I looked rested, lines were subtly softened, and nobody guessed I'd tinkered with toxin (though of course, I was happy to tell them).
Despite great results, I haven't done it since. Although I loved how makeup glided over my smooth forehead, I decided I quite like my forehead crinkles and felt a bit odd without them. I guess 'you never know what you've got until it's gone,' rang true for me and my wrinkles! Never say never again, though.
To banish eyebags
Loved by celebrities from Kim Kardashian to the ever-glowy Jennifer Aniston, polynucleotides are derived from DNA extracted from salmon sperm cells. When injected into the skin, they stimulate fibroblasts - key players in the body's natural repair process - leading to supported collagen and elastin production.
When my skin needs a little 'renewing,' I've had them injected around the eye area by Professor Syed Haq at AM Aesthetics, as well as infused into my face via a deep-penetrating microcurrent facial at The Door W4.
Verdict: I love the results. Around the eyes, the skin is gently smoothed and plumped. The biggest bonus? My dark circles disappeared! Overall, my skin looked juicier and more radiant - nothing else in the tweakment zone has come close.
To glow below
For more power to your pelvic floor, improved intimacy, and to avoid the dreaded sneeze pees, I tried the non-invasive BTL Emsella Chair. You sit - fully clothed - on what feels like a sci-fi throne while it quietly gets to work.
Using HIFEM energy, it stimulates deep pelvic floor muscle contractions - thousands in a single session - to re-educate the muscles, improve bladder control, and boost intimate wellbeing.
Verdict: The Emsella chair helped me feel stronger and more confident and I now recommend it to everyone because issues such as a weak pelvic floor or changes in intimacy are still hush-hush, yet they're some of the most common (and necessary!) conversations in midlife.
In summary, I don't think many of us are chasing perfection - we're after a little boost. A fresher, more confident version of ourselves. So, when high-profile women sidestep the question or claim that their sharp jawline and line-free face is all thanks to kale and water, it keeps the rest of us in the dark about what's really possible.
We're not asking for spreadsheets of every procedure - just a little honesty. If we talk openly, we learn, support one another, and feel less alone in wanting to feel (and look) our best. And that, to me, is true midlife girl code!
Follow Lisa on Instagram and at My Midlife Chapter
