I've always been very active and upbeat. In fact, when I was diagnosed with a brain tumour I was working as head of aerobics for David Lloyd Clubs, as well as regularly appearing on Sky One and Lorraine as a health and fitness presenter, so to say I was shocked when I was diagnosed with a brain tumour was an understatement.
It was during a TV appearance that I noticed something wasn't quite right. I started to say different words than I wanted to. Instead of saying elephant, for example, I said hippopotamus. It was a very strange feeling and quite frightening not being able to get out the words I wanted. But somehow, I got through it.
I went to see my doctor and was told I was overworked. He advised me to stop teaching exercise classes and cut back on all the other work I was doing. I managed to get through the next few years still doing what I loved and taking frequent breaks. I didn’t have any headaches and on the very few times when my speech felt a little slurred, I put it down to tiredness.
© InstagramSo when I was shopping one day and felt like a thunderbolt had smashed through my head, I was very worried.
The pain was excruciating and the lights were so bright I could barely see. When I went to shout out for help, I couldn’t speak. I just stood there in a total state of confusion and pain. Luckily, one of the staff saw me and took me over to sit down on a chair. It seemed like the longest walk ever, with my coordination and balance off-kilter too.
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My then partner took me to see the doctor and he sent me home with migraine tablets and told me to lie down in a dark cool room and keep taking them for a few days.
The pain in my head was awful. It didn’t feel right, so I went to the GP again. I was relieved this was a doctor who knew me well and had seen me teaching aerobics, jumping around looking fit and healthy. He wasn’t convinced I had a migraine and referred me immediately to a neurologist who did various tests. He called The Hospital Of Neurology and Neurosurgery in Queens Square, London for me to go and have an MRI that evening and I was very frightened.
When the neurologist called with my results I collapsed onto the floor. I was told I had what looked like a large cyst in my brain. All I could think about was my children and that I didn’t want to die.
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The next day I learned I had a brain tumour the size of a golf ball deeply embedded in my brain.
I asked if it would kill me and my neurosurgeon said if I didn’t have the tumour removed, I would be like a vegetable within two years and dead within five.
It was then that manifesting began to help me pull through the terrible time. As I waited for surgery to remove the tumour, I found the courage to tell myself I was going to get through it. I kept focusing on the positive and said affirmations such as "It’s going to be ok", "I’m a survivor" and "I will be ok".
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I visualised waking up after the operation. I focused on every detail, as if it had already happened. I found that this made me feel so grateful. This was manifestation and it was very powerful.
Before my surgery, the anaesthetist warned me I may not wake up, I may lose my speech completely or I could be paralysed down the right side of my body, but when I was wheeled down to the operating theatre, I kept telling myself and everyone, 'I’ll be back!' I focused on the thought of coming round after the operation and seeing my mum there.
Post-operation, I remember waking up in intensive care and my Mum was holding my hand, looking at me with tears in her eyes and a big smile on her face. The first thing I did was say, "I’m alive! I can speak."
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The journey to recovery was challenging but again, manifestation helped me. I visualised every step. I was manifesting that I would be healthy and well and saw myself walking and talking fully again.
Manifesting still helps me now because while I recovered from my brain tumour, I still live with chronic pain. I manage it with positive affirmations, meditation and learning to say no when anything is too much.
Every morning when I wake up, I tell my head pain "I’m in control of you, you’re not in control of me". Regular exercise, being in nature and meditation are a huge part of giving myself love and managing my pain physically and mentally.
When you can let go of what is hurting you, loving yourself gives you peace from within. It is from this tranquil place of peace from within that you can manifest your dreams.
I manifested waking up and my recovery. I saw myself heal and I was grateful before it happened.
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Manifesting gave me hope and made me excited for the future
Manifesting always makes me feel hopeful and positive.
When you set your mind on something such as a new relationship, a new job, a holiday or a new home, anything is possible. When you manifest, it puts you in a much more positive frame of mind because you are seeing what you want and believing you already have it.
Manifesting has helped me through so many challenging times. When life throws you negatives, it can be easy to stay in this place of disease, but manifesting allows you to focus on the positives.
Read Nicci's book, Manifest Your Everything, for her guide on how to manifest, published by Cico Books.
