Penn Badgley made a heartbreaking confession about his appearance, admitting there was a period in his life when he "hated" his body.
The You star, 39, revealed that he put extra pressure on himself to look like the men he saw in movies after he gained weight as a response to his parents' divorce and social isolation.
While he was never diagnosed, Penn said that he experienced "body dysmorphia" as a child.
© Getty Images"I know that I hated my body and simply wanted a different one," he told The Guardian, although emulating the men he saw on screen "just seemed like an impossibility".
Penn's fame skyrocketed when he was 20 and landed the role of Dan Humphrey in
"There was just a period where, coming out of depression and isolation, I was jumping wilfully into, but also being thrust into, this world where the more conventionally beautiful I seemed, the more successful I might be, the more value I might have," he explained.
"There's no way to get past the superficiality of this work, and if you recognise that, you can't help but recognise the superficiality of our culture, because of the way it rewards this work."
© Getty ImagesWhile Gossip Girl was huge for his career, Penn "didn't particularly love the superficial celebrity aspect of the way I was perceived", and he even considered a new career path.
However, finding the Baha'í faith helped Penn come to terms with the issues he was dealing with.
"That is what allowed me to persevere through the disillusionment, all the things I'd been grappling with, and then come back to it all, but with hopefully some kind of inner transformation," he said.
© Getty ImagesPenn now prays and meditates every day, which he said has helped him maintain "the simple stuff of life, like having a family, meaningful relationships with my friends".
The actor has been married to doula Domino Kirke since 2017, and they are parents to son James, 4, while Penn is also stepdad to Domino's son Cassius, 16, whom she shares with musician Morgan O'Kane.
© Getty ImagesIn March, they announced they are growing their family by not one, but two babies. The couple shared the happy news on Instagram and admitted they were "stunned" to be expecting "spontaneous twins".
Posting a photobooth strip of photos of her growing baby bump, Domino penned: "Babies #3 and #4 coming this Summer! Talk about a PLOT TWIST!
"Spontaneous twins are beyond magical. We are stunned. We are in awe. Can't think of anyone else I'd rather be on this ride with @pennbadgley."
© InstagramSpeaking of his blended family, the Gossip Girl alum told the New York Times' Modern Love podcast last March: "I have an interesting situation where I have a biological son and a stepson.
"And my stepson is – his father is very much in his life, so his father is his father, and I'm something else."
In 2023, Penn admitted he is thankful he was able to achieve much of his success before he became a husband and a father.
"I did most of that without any kids or spouse, you know? Or any real consideration for family – and now all that's very different," he told Variety. "And I didn't do it with anything other than the pipe dreams of being a producer or a director or writer."
