In recent years, we’ve all grown increasingly cautious about environmental toxins, pesticides, heavy metals, and dodgy additives in our food and cosmetics. Yet we seem to have overlooked another form of toxicity that does us just as much damage: people who relentlessly undermine our emotional well-being—whether at work, at home, or in our social circles.
The harm caused by toxic people isn’t merely psychological; our physical health and bodies take a serious hit from this behaviour too.
As psychologist Sara Navarrete, an expert in self-esteem, couples therapy and emotional dependence, explains: "We're discovering more and more about how our relationships directly impact the body. The brain doesn’t really differentiate between a physical threat and a prolonged emotional one.
"When we're around people who constantly criticise, manipulate, or invalidate us, or leave us feeling perpetually on edge, our body repeatedly triggers its biological stress response. This leads to a sustained spike in hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, disrupted sleep, increased inflammation, poorer emotional regulation, and even a knocked-back immune system. "
© Getty Images3 real ways toxic people affect your wellbeing
Numerous studies have already shown that the quality of our personal relationships is one of the biggest factors influencing our health and longevity—outweighing variables like income or even certain lifestyle habits.
As the expert points out: “When we consider the fallout of having a toxic person in our lives, we usually picture sadness, anxiety, or emotional distress. But the reality goes far beyond how we feel. A toxic environment ends up taking a toll on practically every system in the body.
“The first major area to suffer is usually the nervous system. Plenty of people live in a constant state of hypervigilance, as if they’re just waiting for the next row, the next sharp comment, or another disappointment. It's utterly exhausting. The brain stays stuck in fight-or-flight mode, which ultimately translates into anxiety, irritability, poor concentration or total mental burnout.”
© Getty Images/iStockphotoThe second major victim, as Navarrete explains, is sleep. “Plenty of people don't connect their sleep issues with the impact certain relationships are having on them. They lie awake thinking about difficult conversations, anticipating reactions, or dwelling on things that worry them. And when your sleep suffers, everything else starts to go downhill.
The third casualty of a toxic environment is physical health in the most literal sense: “Muscle aches, neck tension, migraines, digestive issues, persistent fatigue, or a total lack of energy are common symptoms in people who’ve been stuck in emotionally draining relationships for a prolonged period.”
Essentially, living with the stress of a toxic relationship—whether at work, with family, a partner, or in our social circles—makes us ill. As the psychologist explains: “It drives up inflammation, disrupts the restorative power of sleep, hinders cellular repair, and keeps certain hormone levels high which, if left elevated for too long, end up wrecking our health.”
How to identify a toxic person
The moment you realise just how harmful someone is to you rarely comes all at once; it's usually a gradual dawning. But there are clear warning signs that a relationship is taking its toll, and spotting them is key to drawing boundaries and protecting yourself.
© Getty Images/iStockphotoAs Navarrete explains: “You feel completely drained after spending time with them; conversations usually revolve around complaints, criticism, or conflict. On top of that, they minimise your feelings or make you out to be exaggerating when you express how you feel."
"Toxic people tend to blame everyone else for everything that goes wrong and rarely take responsibility. They constantly need to be right and struggle to hear other perspectives"
Someone with toxic dynamics relies on manipulation, emotional blackmail, or playing the victim to get their own way. "They leave you feeling inadequate, guilty, or like you owe them something. They don't respect your boundaries and get annoyed when you try to set them. They frequently slate other people and create tension or awkwardness in groups. They compete with you rather than being genuinely happy for your achievements. Their words and actions rarely align, and you constantly find yourself walking on eggshells just to avoid a row.”
How to protect yourself from toxic dynamics
Fortunately, the damage to both your self-esteem and overall well-being is entirely reversible, provided you take action promptly. As the psychologist explains: “Learning to set firm boundaries and stick to them—even if it feels uncomfortable at first—is essential."
© Getty Images/iStockphotoOther tips to help stop toxic behaviour from getting to you include:
- Cut down your contact time where you can, especially if every interaction leaves you feeling drained.
- Don't try to change the person. You can influence someone, but you can’t control how they act or think.
- Avoid getting dragged into endless arguments just to prove who’s right.
- Don't take everything they say or do personally. More often than not, their behaviour is a reflection of them, not you.
To counteract the impact, it's key to surround yourself with people who offer support, calm, and balanced relationships. Navarrete recommends: "Pay extra attention to your sleep, exercise, and daily routine when you’re dealing with stressful environments. Carve out proper time for yourself to unwind and recharge to make up for the emotional toll."
And don't hesitate to seek professional help if you feel the situation is knocking your confidence, causing anxiety or leaving you feeling generally unwell, and you’re not sure how to manage it.
Don't lose sight of what you enjoy, what you need, what makes you happy, and what feels true to you. Never let anyone convince you that your priorities don't matter, that you're always in the wrong, that your opinion counts for less, or that you're making a fuss over nothing.
Finally, give yourself the gift of strong self-esteem and deep self-respect—because when you stand firm in that, it’s much harder for anyone to throw you off with their toxic behaviour.
