Family disagreements are common, but most people deal with them in private. Prince Harry doesn't have that option: his family rift has played out on a global stage.
While the Duke of Sussex has faced public criticism for how he's handled family tensions, conflict expert Julie Cobalt believes his choices may have widened the divide.
Harry’s approach to speaking out
© GettyPrince Harry’s break from the Royal Family in 2020 set the stage for what would become years of public disclosures. The 40-year-old went on to share personal details about his strained relationships with senior royals in interviews and in his memoir Spare.
His Oprah interview in 2021 revealed a number of private family issues. Then Spare, released in 2023, included claims about an altercation with Prince William, problems with his father King Charles, and criticism of Queen Camilla’s alleged links to the press.
Ahead of the book’s release, Harry told People: "I don't want to tell anyone what to think of it and that includes my family. This book and its truths are in many ways a continuation of my own mental health journey."
Expert analysis: public sharing creates distance
© GettyJulie believes this approach may have undermined any chance of reconciliation. She told HELLO!: "Publicly criticising your family, especially in a memoir, virtually guarantees defensiveness and further distance."
"It also strips you of control over how your message is received." Julie says the path to healing should be private and supported: "If Harry's goal was reconciliation, a better strategy would have been to work with a conflict coach or mediator."
She added: "Reconnection requires honest conversation, not public narration."
Seeking validation over resolution
© POOL/AFP via Getty ImagesJulie suggests Harry may have turned to the public to feel heard. She explained: "Public sharing can feel like control and clarity, but it often replaces resolution with reinforcement."
This move, she says, can make it harder to reflect inwardly.
"It's much easier to stay in the role of victim than to look inward and explore your own contribution to the problem."
In Harry’s case, the desire for validation may have outweighed the desire for repair.
Institutional pressure and personal identity
© BBCJulie also points to the role of tradition in Harry’s experience, stating: "When expectations are culturally or institutionally embedded, stepping outside of them can feel like a betrayal, even if it's necessary for personal growth."
Harry has long spoken about feeling constrained by royal life and wanting something different for his family. But breaking from centuries-old expectations is not simple, especially under public scrutiny.
Julie warns that involving the public rarely leads to resolution. "If your goal is healing, involving the public complicates the path," she said.
"You also risk misinterpretation. Photos, headlines, or quotes taken out of context can inflame things further."
For Harry, this means his efforts to share his truth may have made peace more difficult.
Breaking the cycle
© Getty ImagesJulie believes the key is to step away from blame and towards understanding.
"Breaking the cycle of blame doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings. It means being willing to see the other person’s perspective, even when it’s hard."
She says it's never too late to repair, but it requires effort from all sides.
For Harry, that might mean moving his efforts offline.
As Julie put it: "If you want resolution, you have to be willing to trade the spotlight for sincerity."
