About 10 years ago I was on holiday sitting on a beautiful beach watching the sunset. A setting that always makes me happy. Warm sun, sand between my toes and shimmering blue sea.
However, as I looked out at my wonderful surroundings, I could feel a strange sensation in my stomach. I felt uneasy and unsettled. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. As the holiday continued the feeling began to intensify. I couldn’t understand it because I was with a friend in what can only be described as paradise.
When I got home, the symptoms worsened, and I realised I had somehow, and completely unexpectedly, developed full blown anxiety. In fact, I was officially diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder. Where on earth had it come from so out of the blue? It was as if I’d been invaded by some sort of alien creature who had taken up residence in my body and was intent on making my life a misery. Because anxiety, I’m here to tell you, is utterly miserable.
It's something that often affects women at the time of the menopause and in the years afterwards.
To start with, I was just trying to get through the day. I was doing a play and then went straight into a few months of TV work. As fate would have it, both these jobs involved harrowing stories which really didn’t help.
The nights were the worst. Trying to go to sleep with this feeling of irrational fear was something that I came to dread.
Anxiety seems to be different for everyone. Some people feel like they’re having a heart attack or get very specific symptoms. For me, it was just a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. My heart didn’t beat fast, I didn’t come out in a sweat, I just had this very weird feeling that’s difficult to describe. It was exhausting and made getting through the day very difficult.
Taking control of anxiety
After floundering around for a few months, I decided that I’d better start trying to fix this. I began reading any books I could find on Mindfulness. I found them both helpful and comforting and started putting their suggestions into action.
One of the exercises was very helpful. I’ve seen it used in many forms, but the basic premise is that when your mind goes off into a place of anxiety, distract it by engaging your senses to bring you back into the present moment.
Name 5 things you can hear around you, then 5 things you can see, then 5 things you can smell. Any version of this will help bring you back into the here and now to stop you ruminating.
I also re-started my meditation practise. There was a time when I used to begin every day with a meditation and the benefits were enormous. However, over the years I’d let this slip. To make sure I did it daily, I downloaded the Headspace app. After waking, while still in bed, I would sit for at least 10 minutes guided by the app. The app makes it so easy, and you can set the length of time you want to sit for. I did this religiously every day.
I’ve now added some meditation videos to my Ageless YouTube channel, with guidance from my husband who is a trained meditation teacher.
At the same time, I found some breathing exercises specially designed for anxiety. I would begin every day with a few rounds and then do some rounds before bed. To begin with my anxiety was so bad that I would often do numerous rounds through the day as well. These exercises work brilliantly, as they calm down the nervous system and take you out of fight or flight mode.
I have added this breathing exercise to my YouTube channel as well.
These 3 things began to quieten my anxiety significantly. Then I added some other strategies that helped calm my anxiety even more.
The lifestyle tweaks that helped
I gave up alcohol for awhile. It’s very tempting to have a few glasses of wine to help relax before bed. At first this did help. After a few months, however, it made it worse. After the initial relaxation, I would lie awake at night and could feel the acid from the wine in my system. It made me feel more anxious, so I stopped drinking. I felt so much better.
Next up was coffee. Now we’re all different in our ability to handle caffeine but for me, coffee was making me jittery. I felt very unsettled after a cup. Tea was fine but not coffee. I switched to decaff and instantly could feel the difference.
Interestingly, a couple of years later, when I felt so much better, I started drinking caffeinated coffee again and it all seemed fine. A few months later, however, I began to feel jittery again and have now ditched it completely. It just doesn’t agree with me. I now only drink a decaffeinated cappuccino and am perfectly happy with that.
I made another video outlining all the different things I’d done to help my anxiety, which you can find on my channel.
I was now a couple of years into my anxiety, and all my efforts were paying off. I still had it, but it was so much less and easier to handle.
© Glynis BarberI decided to embark on some sessions of cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT). When my anxiety had started, I reached out to my GP on the NHS. I was put on a long waiting list for CBT (which was specifically the therapy I wanted to try) and now it finally came through. I walked in the door and the therapist looked very young and my heart sank. How could this young girl, probably not very experienced, possibly help, I thought?
I couldn’t have been more wrong. She was great and I loved CBT, just as I suspected I would. It helps to change unhelpful thinking patterns and gives the tools to cope with current problems. It was the embodiment of Mindfulness, giving skills to focus on the present and take your mind away from ruminating and catastrophising. You learn to let go of the things that are out of your control.
I felt so much better, and my anxiety was now significantly reduced and much more manageable. But it was still there lurking around, albeit very faintly. I longed to get rid of it completely.
As luck would have it, while reading some health articles on the internet, I found some information that would finally put an end to my anxiety.
The gamechanging herb I'd never heard of
I discovered a supplement I’d never heard of before called Albizia, a Chinese herb meaning ‘happiness’. It’s a natural remedy for depression, anxiety, and insomnia. I started looking for it and couldn’t find it anywhere. I asked doctors, pharmacists, nutritionists, and homeopaths, but no-one seemed to have heard of it. Eventually, after many months of searching, I mentioned it to a kinesiologist and bingo. She had heard of it and set me off on the road to sourcing it.
This was a game changer. Within weeks I felt so good, and the effect kept growing over the next few months. I could now say for the first time that I felt no anxiety at all. I remained on Albizia for nearly 5 years. I did try coming off after a couple of years but could feel myself dip a bit, so immediately resumed it. A couple of years after that I was able to come off with no effects at all. You can find the info on it on my Ageless website.
© Rachel Louise Brown StudioI went on quite a journey with my anxiety, but I got there in the end. The truth is there is no magic potion that will get rid of anxiety. It’s a problem that needs coming at from different angles. This, I feel, is key.
I’d already reduced my anxiety by the time I started the Albizia, and `I believe that’s why it worked so well. It took discipline and I put the work in. But when you have anxiety, you’ll do whatever you have to do to feel better. Today I am still anxiety free, although I can get stressed by situations, as can we all. I still meditate (although not every day) and I still do the breathing exercises as they have turned out to be very important to my wellbeing. Barely a day goes by when I don’t do a round of them, usually before sleep as they work as well as a sleeping pill.
I feel grateful and proud of myself that I managed to overcome my anxiety. I never take it for granted and the moment I feel my stress creeping up on me, I have all these tools at my disposable. If it ever comes knocking at my door again, I’m ready for it.
