9 life coach-approved tips for finding love online in 2026

Whether you're thinking about setting up your first online dating profile or you've been swiping with no luck (or love!) – let me help you. As a women's confidence coach, I've helped hundreds of women find love, both on and offline.

Taking the leap and downloading dating apps can feel terrifying, especially if it's your first time – or you've been burned in the past. It can feel daunting knowing where to start or what the correct etiquette is. But fear not, with a little gentle guidance and a lot of perseverance, you'll find your match, I promise.

Here's my foolproof 9-step guide to getting lucky and finding love on dating apps

1. Choose the right app

Firstly, you want to choose your app carefully. I wouldn't advise downloading more than one or two or you'll spread yourself too thin and get dating app fatigue. Each dating app has a different purpose and desired outcomes, so do your research before jumping in. Hinge and Bumble are the most promising for romantic relationships, Tinder has a reputation for its hook-up style swipers and there are apps such as Feeld which claim to 'connect open-minded people exploring love, desire and alternative relationships'. So, it's safe to say that there's something out there for everyone – you just need to know where to start.

2. Represent yourself properly

This may sound painfully obvious, but I implore you to create a profile that truly represents you. Choose photos that are recent and portray who you actually are, not who you think you should be.

If you're a homebody looking for something to join you for muddy walks and cook Sunday roasts with, let your profile reflect that. If you’re a party person looking for someone to dance the night away with – say so! Giving mixed signals can be confusing and off-putting, and you only have a couple of seconds to make your first and best impression. This goes for your bio and prompts too – try and give them something to work with. Show off your personality. Make your answers fun, unique and most importantly, authentic. Provide personal insight so that it's easy for the other person to get the ball rolling with conversation. Steer away from generic answers that lack personality, otherwise you''ll be met with the ever-so-tedious 'How was your day?' opener on repeat.

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3. Be clear on what you want

Have clarity about what you're looking for. You will have the option to select and share your preferences, whether you're looking for a long-term commitment or something more casual.

The more concise you can be, the better, so don't tick all options and hope for the best. Be honest with yourself about what exactly it is you're after and then you can hone your energy in on that. There's no shame in looking for love, and it can be really helpful to remind yourself that that's why (most!) people are on the apps too.

Get really clear on who exactly it is that you want to meet. What does this person do for fun? Where do they live? How do they like to socialise? Do your values and priorities align? It's helpful to have a good mental picture of the type of person you are attracted to, to help you avoid feeling overwhelmed by choice and getting carried away with swiping.

4. Remember it's not a game

These apps have been cleverly designed to hook you in and keep you scrolling, and like most apps can be highly addictive. Try to remind yourself that it's not a game. Endlessly swiping without paying attention will not get you anywhere and will most likely end up with you having a case of dating app fatigue. It's a total waste of your time to like or match will people you have no intention of engaging with, so save your energy and try and be intentional with your usage

5. Show some personality

Don't be afraid to show your quirks and character, staying clear of generic prompts or messages. The more 'you' that you can show the better – as it will help potential matches get a feel for who you really are.

Time is precious, so don't waste it with matches who are disengaged, low effort or take weeks to reply. You deserve more than the bare minimum. Trust your gut and if you don't feel truly excited or aligned with someone, it's fine to move on! There's no harm in sending a polite message and unmatching. Free up your headspace (and theirs!) to find someone that you're really excited about.

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6. Don't take it personally

This one can be tough, but try not to take anything personally. Unfortunately, it's not uncommon to be randomly ghosted or at the receiving end of inappropriate comments.

Perhaps they disappeared because they were fed up with online dating, maybe they went on holiday, met someone else or even rekindled with their ex. This behavior says more about them than it does about you, so try to take it in your stride and move onwards and upwards.

We will sadly never know the real reason people choose to ghost, so respect the dead and move on. You absolutely mustn't let a stranger on the internet make you feel bad about yourself. Try to adopt the mindset that if someone doesn't match with you, it's their loss not yours. They should be so lucky to date you.

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7. Remember that it takes time

Online dating, matching and chatting can feel awkward, frustrating and discouraging – regardless of your gender, age or desires/ So, try not to be disheartened if you don't immediately match with your perfect partner.

It can take time to find your rhythm. So, whilst you're engaging with the apps, try not to be too judgmental. We have become so quick to judge and we are judging whole humans in less than a second and often it's something as simple as their shoes that put us off.

Everyone has moments when they lack confidence or are shy, so if in doubt try and give people a chance. It's not easy to craft the 'perfect' response to every profile or always know exactly what to say.

8. Get it into real life

Once you feel you've covered the basics of someone new and feel there might be a connection between you, try and move off the app and in to real life as quickly as possible.

It's easy for a spark to fizzle out when you spend too long messaging before actually meeting in person. It's also great to get out and in front of someone so you can quickly gauge whether there’s chemistry and if they are someone you'd like to date. You don't want first dates to feel too pressured, so a coffee, walk or quick drink can be a great place to start.

9. Remember people are real!

Remember, there's a person at the other end of the screen. Treat others how you wish to be treated. Don't waste people's. If you have been speaking to someone for more than a couple of days and you decide you don't want to pursue, you can simply send a polite message to say so.

If you find the process frustrating or disheartening, know you're not alone. Unfortunately, this can often be the reality of looking for love online. But I encourage you not to take it personally and find solace in the fact that there are countless others looking for love on exactly the same platform – it only takes that one swipe to find them.

Don't lose hope. Continue to live your best life and check in on the apps when you're in a good, happy headspace.  Your next match is always one swipe away – so keep swiping and don't lose faith.

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