Most of us have done it, fantasised about a hometown crush, wished for the perfect meet-cute that started in the school playground… there's just something about being able to say you've been in love since day dot. But why are we attracted to nostalgia, and is it ruining our chances of meeting better matches in the present day if our brains are stuck in the past?
Returning home to your life before adulthood has a carefree atmosphere about it. For me, I can feel it the moment I walk into my family house, I revert to my teenage years and slip into the dynamic I once had with my parents before the dreaded adulthood took hold of my life.
It makes me wonder if this is why we yearn for nostalgic connections: do we think they'll bring with them a carefree, wondrous relationship full of hope and possibility for the future? Or is it just human nature to want what you know instead of venturing beyond the walls of comfort zones?
With too many questions needing answers, I asked the experts on behalf of HELLO! readers so we can all figure out why we are obsessed with love interests from our past lives, especially during the colder months and how healthy this infatuation really is.
Why do we romanticise the idea of reconnecting with someone from the past?
There's a certain allure to bumping into an old flame, whether we have seen it one too many times in the movies, or read about it in our favourite romance novels, a reunion meet-cute is all the rage - but why?
Dating and relationship expert, international matchmaker and relational psychotherapist with over ten years of experience, Sarah Louise Ryan, revealed what she thinks this new dating phenomenon really means.
She exclusively told us: "Nostalgic dating is the desire to form romantic connections based on familiarity, shared history, or emotional memory rather than discovery. It often involves reconnecting with people from earlier life stages or seeking relationships that recreate a feeling of emotional safety rather than building something entirely new."
The expert went on to explain why she feels we are so attracted to the past, especially in this era: "We romanticise past connections because they feel emotionally safer. Someone from our past represents a time when life felt simpler, when we were less guarded and less bruised by modern dating.
"Modern dating can be hard and it’s the path of least resistance to romanticise someone who has been, rather than being stuck in the fear of the unknown with what could be."
Sarah added: "There’s also a sense of being 'seen' without having to explain yourself - shared history can shortcut intimacy. Nostalgia softens the edges of memory, so we often remember how someone made us feel rather than why it didn’t work in the first place.
"Sometimes our muscle memory forgets what was experienced in a relationship with someone when we are not in their presence. Our minds suppress pain, so we can romanticise or hyper-empathise the good from past relationships."
What does the emergence of nostalgic dating indicate about the state of dating in 2025?
One small Google search and you will find hundreds of articles about how tricky modern dating is and how dissatisfied people, in particular women, are with the state of romantic play in this era.
Having used dating apps myself, I know how tiring it can be swiping through profiles and trying to make judgements based on pictures and a few words, agreeing to meet up with strangers from the internet.
Sarah shared her thoughts on why this new surge towards returning to what we know tells us about dating in 2025.
She said: "Nostalgic dating is often a reaction to burnout in dating or lack of dating opportunities. Dating in 2025 for many has felt transactional, over-optimised, and emotionally exhausting.
"There has been a sense of constant comparison and choice paralysis, which leaves people craving familiarity and emotional grounding. Looking backwards is less about wanting the past back and more about wanting depth, meaning, and reassurance in a dating landscape that often feels disposable."
Is it a good idea to date with a nostalgic mindset?
While the idea may be tempting, dating with nostalgia in mind may not be the best idea if you are after a connection that will last the test of time, not just reverse it.
With this type of dating, there is potential for feelings to become confused and intertwined with old feelings rather than new, real emotions built on present-day compatibility.
"Nostalgic dating can be meaningful if it’s rooted in reality rather than fantasy. The danger comes when people confuse familiarity with compatibility," Sarah said. She added: "A major red flag is ignoring why the relationship didn’t progress before or assuming emotional growth without evidence.
"Many people fall in love with people's potential rather than the reality in front of them. Another risk is using nostalgia to avoid vulnerability with someone new; retreating into the past can sometimes be a way to avoid the discomfort of present-day intimacy."
What is it about dating in the colder months that draws people toward nostalgic dating?
It is no secret that once the weather turns colder, the desire to cuddle up to a partner intensifies, meaning people look harder than any other time of the year to couple up with someone to endure the winter.
Around this time, the ease of returning to what we once knew is extremely attractive as it involves less fishing through profiles and more familiarity, especially around the Christmas season.
Sarah offered her opinion on why this happens. She said: "The festive season is emotionally charged. Being home triggers memory, identity, and reflection - who we were, who we’ve loved, and where we thought we’d be by now.
"Christmas amplifies feelings of longing, loneliness, and belonging, making people more susceptible to romanticising the past. When combined with physical proximity - old friends, familiar places, it creates the perfect conditions for nostalgic connections to resurface."