Veteran broadcaster, actor, and author Stephen Fry, 68, is known for hosting QI and, more recently, as one of the "big dogs" on the celebrity version of The Traitors. But when he is not sharing his intelligent insights on TV, he is a doting husband to his partner of ten years, Elliot Spencer. While Elliot has accompanied his famous beau occasionally on the red carpet, not much is known about their relationship, with Stephen keeping his marriage largely out of the spotlight. There have, however, Stephen has discussed their 30-year age gap and the "secret" to their success.
Speaking on Ryan Clark's How to Be in Love podcast in June 2025, Stephen - who married Elliot in January 2015 - discussed the 'great things' about his marriage about having a large age gap. "He teaches me things I just didn't know. He introduced me to Kendrick Lamar, which was a great thing to do because Kendrick Lamar I've decided is a great poetical spirit, a really remarkable figure."
© Getty ImagesDuring the conversation, Stephen also said that one surprising thing Elliot has got him into is WWE. "He has a great affection for, and I guess you could call it ironic, but it's real - for WWE...I kind of am [a fan of WWE], and I just don't know whether I can reveal this extraordinary truth, but I have bought a couple of tickets for WrestleMania in Las Vegas."
Stephen's relationship success
Stephen also opened up about what he believes the secret to a successful marriage is, revealing that it's about being finding someone who is "like their own sunshine. One of the most important human virtues, I think, isn't even really considered a virtue. But it is one that changes the world. And it's not kindness, which obviously is important, but it's a subset of kindness, perhaps. And it's cheerfulness.
© Getty Images"When you're in the presence of a cheerful person, It makes everything better. They're like their own sunshine. So that's one of the things. If one is down to help the other come up… And understand each other's differences as emotional human beings. For example, I had to understand, and he had to understand, that I am extremely energetic and bouncy and chatty in the mornings at breakfast and he is not. So I had to find ways of just calming myself and he had to come up a little bit and not be quite so kind of, 'Will you shut up Stephen!'"
What do the experts say?
According to Eliza Davis, Founder & Psychotherapist at Eliza Davis Therapy, the key to a happy relationship is the ability to grow and change with each other. Eliza explains: "Over time, relationships go through changes and evolve and it's important for both partners to be able to match that in their availability to show up and support one another. Communication is another HUGE aspect- communication is key for long-term, healthy relationships. As close and connected as you can feel to your partner, you're not and will never be mind readers of one another! Communication is the only way you'll know what the other is thinking and feeling."
What can you do at home?
Eliza explains that there are a number of ways you can enhance your communication with your partner. She says: "Check in, see how you can support one another and put in active work to turn towards the other. Life can be super busy, managing household responsibilities, a full time job and in that often times relationships can be lost. Just like you put effort into these other areas of your life- your relationship needs the same- active energy put into it every day! Some of my favourite tips are; spending Sunday nights planning the week with your partner, eating dinners together with no phones or TV on, going for a walk with the dog after dinner/long day of work."
