Families come in all different shapes and sizes nowadays, but one mum took to the internet to suggest that women shouldn’t start one before getting married first. Sharing a post on Mumsnet, she explained how she reads stories which are “horribly deflating” about women choosing to have kids without their partner proposing, and asked other readers for their opinions - so what do you think?
The online forum user said: “They desperately want to marry [their partner] who ‘always said he would’ But now (a few children/ years later) has declared he has no intention of marrying them”. This led her to question why anyone would start a family with a man who isn’t proposing, and whether women are using children as “an alternative to getting the ring/security you want”. Also, she goes on to explain that having a man’s children won’t make him want to propose, and he may assume you’re happy with the situation anyway. Finally, she argues that women see to be “put off flatly asking for what they want” and that “we’re living in a society where you can carry his children but feel uncomfortable asking when he’s going to propose”.
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She explained that she would never plan a family with a man she wasn’t married to - so women should band together and “[make ‘getting the ring’ more socially acceptable”. But, she does specify this only applies to women who want to marry in the first place.
Naturally, as with all internet forums, her thoughts divided opinion. The first commenter said that “a piece of jewellery means nothing”, and another swiftly joined with “The 1950s called. They want you back”. However, a number of users agreed with the original post, saying that they’ve seen it many times. One explained: “Too often the woman gives up a career, rents with him, or worse, moves into HIS house, often even paying the mortgage too. In the event of a split, she's left with nothing.”
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There have since been hundreds of comments arguing both sides - so what do you think? Should marriage be for financial stability before having children, or does it really not matter, and those that want to get married should be more than happy to wait?
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