We can all picture the scene - a messy kitchen, a turkey close to burning in the oven, a stressed parent, an overexcited child, clutter, wrapping paper strewn on the floor and all of a sudden someone is pushed to breaking point.
Arguments over the festive period are inevitable. The year is coming to a close, everyone is eager to let off the stress built up in the last few manic weeks of work before the holidays and all family members are back under the same roof, potentially with some extra lodgers.
While bickering and small disagreements are completely normal, no one wants full-blown shouting matches to erupt over Christmas dinner.
I've asked the experts for both myself and HELLO! readers for some tips and tricks on how to avoid causing war at home during the festive season.
Is it normal for families to argue at Christmas?
Breakdowns in communication are extremely normal when tensions are heightened and the stakes are raised.
Many find the preparations for Christmas, especially if they are hosting, very stressful, with an entire meal to shop for and cook, as well as making everyone comfortable around the dinner table.
With extra stress and worry comes a shorter fuse and a breeding ground for little arguments to break out if someone feels frustrated with other people in the family.
Add in an unusually full house and an overflow of alcohol, and you have the perfect recipe for a full-blown row to escalate at any point.
Chartered psychologist with over of 20 years experience, Dr Katy James, said: "Christmas-time often amplifies family dynamics, which can lead to heightened stress and conflict.
"Remember, you don’t have to solve every disagreement immediately. Prioritising kindness, self-care, and effective communication can help you all to enjoy the season and strengthen relationships."
How to stop arguing over small things
Fix the atmosphere before things escalate beyond a point of no return and save Christmas with some small tips and tricks that will de-escalate any niggle of an argument.
Defusing the situation instead of igniting more of a disagreement is the key to preventing an unnecessary explosion born out of momentary frustration.
It is important to remind everyone that the festive season isn't about creating the perfect Christmas day but rather spending time together and cherishing the new memories the day will bring.
Dr James put together a checklist that will help any family at risk of a confrontation defuse and regulate the situation. She suggested:
- "Be realistic and plan: Balance family expectations with your own needs by setting boundaries and scheduling meaningful downtime. Activities like walks or games can foster positive interactions while reducing tension. Being mindful of tricky family dynamics, anticipating any sticking points ahead of time - this can help you to better manage conflict when, and if, it does occur.
- Communicate effectively: Use positive and clear language, and try to stay objective during disagreements if they arise. The holiday season can bring up old emotions and family power dynamics, so try to focus on the present. Listen actively and respect differing opinions - sometimes it may be worth agreeing to disagree. If you have children around, focus on them and do not argue or speak badly of each other in front of young people.
- Moderate alcohol intake: Alcohol can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, the disinhibiting effects can lead to laughter and fun interactions like games or karaoke that you might not normally feel confident enough to do. However, alcohol can also lead to arguments, saying things you might later regret, and negative physical effects such as vomiting or hangovers. Drink in moderation to keep things light and enjoyable, or try low or no alcohol substitutes.
- Practice mindfulness and gratitude: When stress arises, try to take a moment to ground yourself. Focus on the positive and reframe negative thinking if you are able - instead of thinking, ‘It’s annoying to have family around’, you could reframe this to, ‘I’m lucky to have family I can spend time with’. In chaotic moments, pause, look around, and savour the small, joyful moments.
- Prioritise self-care: Plan moments for yourself that take you away from the busyness of a group situation - like a brisk walk, a warm bath, or a podcast. Whatever helps give you a breather and puts a smile on your face shouldn’t stop during the festive season – self-care is just as important, if not more so, during this time as any other time of the year. Remember, you can't control others’ reactions and happiness, but taking care of your own well-being can positively impact those around you.
- Accept that disagreements are normal: Understand that conflict is part of any relationship. Focus on whether an issue truly needs resolution now, or if it can wait to maintain harmony with friends and family during the festivities."
How to deal with family arguments
Despite all the precautions and preplanning, sometimes there really is nothing you can do to stop an argument breaking out amongst your family.
When this happens, it is vital that you stay calm, take a break from the room and get some fresh air if needed and then use active listening to understand the real root of the problem.
Dr James urged everyone to look after their mental health during this tricky period and to seek help if they feel it would benefit the situation.
She explained: "If you’re struggling with your mental health, it’s important to seek professional support.
"Book an appointment with your GP or refer yourself to an NHS talking therapies service. Know that you are not alone and there are qualified professionals who can help you."