Behavioural psychologist: The Beckhams don't know how to act 'normally'


With Harper Beckham believed to be in "pawn" in her family's ongoing feud with Brooklyn, have the Beckhams forgotten how to function away from the cameras?


victoria and david beckham with a camera lens© Getty
Melanie Macleod
Melanie MacleodDeputy Beauty and Lifestyle Editor
1 hour ago
Share this:

Harper Beckham cut a lonely figure last week, leaving her estranged brother Brooklyn's house after a 30-second visit.

The 14-year-old daughter of Victoria and David Beckham was clutching a pink envelope, which she reportedly dropped into Brookyln and his wife Nicola's LA home, with the whole sorry situation captured by waiting paparazzi.

So far, so sad – not only because Harper wasn't able to see her much-missed brother, but also because a teenage girl is followed by the paparazzi wherever she goes. But then there was a twist in the tale, with Harper's visit believed to be staged by her famous family. Brooklyn and Nicola's reps told HELLO!: "[The fact] that photographers were in place as the letter was hand delivered says it all – this was choreographed for the cameras."

brother and sister hugging © Instagram
Brooklyn and Harper had an incredibly close relationship

Comments from our readers flooded in. "I agree it was staged! The parents should NOT be using her as a pawn. The Beckhams are so wealth and fame hungry at any cost, always have been," one wrote, while another said: "This is the exact narrative they wanted to create by having her papped and you're all falling for it. We shouldn't have known or seen that this happened and the fact that we have says it all."

We polled HELLO!'s readers for their thoughts, and 52% agreed that Harper's visit was " choreographed" and the Beckhams can't do anything without the cameras.

Further cementing this performative narrative, just one day later, Brooklyn partnered with food delivery service DoorDash on an advert, alluding to the family feud, poking fun at the whole situation. Watch the video below…

View post on Instagram
 

While the Beckhams are national treasures in the eyes of many, it does seem that the public is growing tired of the family playing out all their drama for the whole world to see. But with all four of the Beckham kids spending their whole lives in the public eye, and VB and David now having been famous far longer than they weren't, perhaps they've simply lost sight of how to live like normal people (you can vote in our poll here or below)?

Have the Beckhams forgotten how to live like regular people?

"For people who have grown up or spent much of their adult lives in the spotlight, performative behaviour can begin to feel entirely normal," says behavioural psychologist Jo Hemmings. "Most of us adjust our behaviour slightly depending on who's watching. Celebrities simply experience this on a much larger scale. The audience becomes a permanent presence, even when no camera is physically there."

Jo, who is writing a book on our relationship to celebrity and cutting through the performative nature of it, continues: "The Beckham family are a fascinating example because they have spent over 25 years as both a family and a global brand.

A close-up photo of Brooklyn Beckham© Getty Images
Brooklyn's behaviour raised eyebrows

"Their success has been built not just on football, fashion and business, but on inviting the public into aspects of their family life. When a family has existed for so long as both a genuine family unit and a public narrative, it's perhaps unsurprising that the boundary between personal relationships and public perception can become more complex than it is for most people.

"Now there is fuss about Brooklyn, supposedly being hypocritical for doing a fast-food TV ad – when he is avoiding obvious fame – but he has to work. He may have married into a wealthy family, but he still needs purpose – and without any strategic skills, the irony is he has to pursue the very public fame that he has turned against.

"And this irony means that the more visible a family becomes, the harder it can be to have truly private experiences. What may look performative from the outside may simply be the only way they have learned to function after decades of living in a world where every significant moment risks becoming a public event."

Brooklyn's birthday comes just weeks after his feud with his parents David and Victoria went public (pictured in 2019)© SOPA Images/LightRocket via Gett
Brooklyn with his parents in 2019

Keen to further explore the unique relationship between the Beckham family and fame, we also spoke to educational psychologist Dr. Ahmar Ferguson for his take on why the Beckhams choose to live their whole lives in public view – and the issues this can cause for family dynamic.

"Families in the public eye often face a challenge most people never consider: the line between private relationships and public identity can become blurred," he begins.

"Psychologically, we develop our sense of self through authentic interactions. When cameras, media attention, and public opinion are constant, there may be pressure, conscious or unconscious, to manage how moments are presented rather than simply experience them. Over time, it can become difficult to distinguish what is truly private from what is shared, performed, or documented for an audience."

On how this life has impacted Brooklyn, Harper, Romeo and Cruz, Dr. Ferguson continues: "For those who grow up in this environment, public exposure may feel normal."

On the documentation of hand-delivering a letter, something which most of us would never consider to be worth documenting, Dr. Ferguson explains: "Behaviours others see as personal can become content, family milestones can become headlines, and important conversations may unfold under public scrutiny."

Indeed, Brooklyn called his parents out for this in his January statement, in which he criticised his family for being performative, writing: "For my entire life, my parents have controlled narratives in the press about our family," he claimed. 

"The performative social media posts, family events and inauthentic relationships have been a fixture of the life I was born into. Recently, I have seen with my own eyes the lengths that they'll go through to place countless lies in the media, mostly at the expense of innocent people, to preserve their own facade."

Dr. Ferguson points out, though, that just because they are living in the public eye doesn't mean David and Victoria, and as a result, Harper, are being disingenuous, simply that their understanding of privacy and family life may differ greatly from that of someone who has never lived with that level of attention.

Layers of complexity

With every facet of their feud laid out in the press, directly, as with Brooklyn's posts, or more underhandedly, such as staged paparazzi photos, Dr. Ferguson explains that an audience adds another layer of complexity to the issue, and creating distrust, as we've seen with Brooklyn.

"Most families work through disagreements privately, with space to make mistakes, repair relationships, and reflect. Public families often do so while navigating media coverage, speculation, and competing narratives. In some cases, family members may question whether interactions are meant for connection or public perception, placing additional strain on trust."

Finding genuine connection

Brooklyn has been clear he isn't interested in a relationship with his family – much in part due to his suspicion about what is genuine and what is for the cameras, as Dr. Ferguson details: "The challenge for any high-profile family is finding opportunities for genuine connection outside public consumption. Relationships thrive when people feel seen, heard, and valued for who they are rather than how they are perceived. Maintaining those spaces becomes harder when much of life is lived under observation."

The Beckham family all together only a few years ago© Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images
It can be hard to know what is genuine when you're in the limelight

The bottom line

Jo points out Harper's delivery of the letter doesn't necessarily mean the family's actions are consciously staged. "Rather, when you've lived with cameras for so long, the distinction between private and public behaviour can become blurred. Public awareness becomes part of the psychological furniture of everyday life."

As for Dr. Ferguson's final word? "It is important to recognise that outsiders can never fully know the reality of a family's relationships. Public stories offer only fragments of a far more complex picture. What we can say is that living in the spotlight creates unique psychological pressures that most families never face."

More Parenting
See more