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20 easy ways to show yourself love this Valentine's Day

Because February 14th should be about loving yourself too

Happy black woman embrace herself on a beach at sunrise, self love and peaceful. Young African American feeling in touch with earth and nature, enjoy freedom and inner peace, smiling, loving soul
Melanie Macleod
Wellness Editor
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While February 14th is a nice day to receive a card from a secret admirer or a gift from a long-term love, the most romantic day of the year is also an important occasion to show yourself some love.

"Showing ourselves love is a vital element and a prerequisite for living a fulfilled and happy life," says BACP accredited relationship psychotherapist, Vasia Toxavidi.

While we're encouraging showing yourself love today, Vasia emphasises that showing yourself love is not a task that starts and ends. "Loving yourself should be a lifelong commitment. I like to call it a contract and the onus is on us how we honour, commit and take responsibility for it."

Afro-American woman relaxing after a workout.© Getty
Self-love is essential for a happy life

Showing ourselves love reaffims that we believe that we are a worthwhile 'good enough' person, and that you like and respect yourself, adds BACP accredited counsellor Louise Tyler.

Why do we need to show ourselves love?

"When we practice self-love, we embrace who we are and allow ourselves to be more authentic and confident," says Vasia. "When we love ourselves, we emit a glow that brightens not only our own lives but also those around us – which also provides inspiration for others.

"Practicing self-love enables us to build resilience and discipline, which are some of the key empowering tools to help us deal with life’s challenges. Plus, by respecting ourselves, we invite others to treat us with the same level of respect and compassion," she adds.

Sound good? Here are 19 expert-approved, simple ways to show yourself love this Valentine's Day

How to show yourself love this Valentine's Day

1. Do something you love

Whether it's going for a swim, taking yourself for a coffee or hitting the cinema, make time for something just for you today. "By doing something you love, you are taking time out of your busy schedule and putting yourself first," says BACP registered therapist and counsellor, Lindsay George

2. Wear something nice

Even if you're staying at home all day, wearing something you love is a sure-fire mood booster, as BACP registered counsellor Georgina Sturmer explains: "If we proactively choose to take care of our physical appearance, it sends an internal signal that we are worthy and deserving. This can boost our confidence and self-esteem.

"We can even take it one step further, and really pay attention to wearing clothing that brightens up our day, in a practice known as ‘dopamine dressing’."

READ: How to feel happier with very little effort 

3. Relax your stomach

I don't know about you, but I spend so much of my time holding my stomach in, and it wasn't until I went to a spin class where the instructor told us to release our stomachs in the stretch that I realised I was even tensing – and relaxing it felt worlds better.

Allowing your stomach to relax signals that you appreciate and love yourself – just what you want on V-day!

4. Upgrade your daily rituals

"You know that hand soap, washing powder or shower gel that you've been coveting? Maybe you smelt it in someone else's house, and it was gorgeous, but you've told yourself it's an indulgence even though you can afford it… go buy it!" encourages life coach Mhairi Todd.

"Savour it each time you use it. I'm really affected by scent and a daily shower with my Clarins Relax or Tonic shower gel adds a little bit of heaven to an everyday task."

Shot of an attractive young woman washing her hair with shampoo in the shower at home© Getty
Elevate the every day by adding shower oils to your morning routine

5. Turn your phone off

"I’m a huge advocate for turning your phone off (or on airplane) mode, as often as possible," says life coach Hattie MacAndrews. "Even just an hour will allow your mind to switch off and find some stillness. Take control of your phone consumption, don’t let it consume you."

RELATED: I handed over my phone for 3 days - and the results surprised me 

6. Make today special

"Stop waiting for special occasions and celebrations to wear your favourite shoes, sip your coffee from a boujee mug or spray your fanciest perfume. Make every day a special occasion," says positivity expert Casey Paul.

MORE FROM CASEY: 5 ways to make every day special – and feel instantly happier 

7. Listen to music

"Curate a playlist that ignites those goose bump, feel-good vibes," says psychotherapist Lauren Baird. "Songs that bring amazing memories to mind are brilliant mood-boosters."

Listening to a happy podcast will make you feel optimistic© Getty
Listening to a happy playlist will help you feel optimistic

7. Make the bed

Not a chore, but an extra treat for you at bedtime! Getting into a cosy, made bed is so much nicer than climbing into messed up sheets.

8. Apply body lotion

Show your body you appreciate it by taking the time to lovingly apply body cream, either first thing or just before bed. "When you moisturise your body, you are activating the parasympathetic nervous system and accessing a powerful self-soothing technique, slowing down your heart rate, reducing stress in your body and increasing self-compassion," says Lauren Baird.

Young woman applying moisturizer on the body after shower at home© Getty
Bodycare reaffirms your self worth

RELATED: This daily ritual helped me appreciate my body 

9. Eat comfort food

We all know the joy that comes from tucking into our favourite meal from childhood - and it turns out, comfort food is a great way to show ourselves some love. “Comfort foods or foods that incite memories of our childhood trigger the release of dopamine in the brain, which is interpreted as pleasure,” nutritionist Charlotte Faure Green explains.

10. Light your best candle

Forget saving your luxury candles for when you have guests over – light it today, you deserve the best!

Organic soya wax candles with wooden candlewick in white ceramic bowls on linen bedding set with book. Cosy and soft winter background. Hygge and aromatherapy concept.© Getty
Light the luxury candle!

11. Give yourself a compliment

We bet every time your best friend looks lovely, you give them a compliment, but how often do you compliment yourself? Do it today!

12. Buy yourself flowers

Miley Cyrus told us we can buy ourselves flowers, and what better day to do it than Valentine's? (Or maybe the day after when the prices haven't been hiked up...)

13. Get rid of old clothes

We all have those clothes in our wardrobe that we keep 'in case' they fit again in the future, but more often than not, they just make us feel bad about ourselves. Take the opportunity today to donate unworn items to charity, or sell them on to someone who will love them.

READ: How to get your fashion mojo back in your 40s and beyond 

14. Have a luxury bath

Beautiful woman relaxing in hot tub in a hotel room. She is taking time for herself in a bubble bath, hair tucked up in a bun, sun light through curtains. The female is serene and happy. Concepts of self-love, self-care, mindful and conscious attitude to the health© Getty
A bubbly bath tells your body you love it

Having a bath is the oldest self-care trick in the book. Lighting candles, having a glass of wine and adding your favourite bath oils into the tub is a great way to spend Valentine's evening – take your book in for the ultimate me-time.

RELATED: How to run the ultimate bath - according to experts

15. Make the gym a self-care moment

If you're lucky enough to be a member of a gym with a sauna and a steam room, use them! Rather than rushing off after your workout, take time to enjoy the facilities and relax.

16. Use a face mask

Show your skin some love and treat yourself to a hydrating face mask – you'll be glowing come Thursday!

Smiling Female In Love With New Skin Care Products© Getty
A face mask is a classic way to look after yourself

17. Show your hair some love

Along the same lines, apply a hair mask to your mane and enjoy swishy, shiny hair tomorrow.

18. Ignore your to-do list

The list of boring chores and admin can wait. Give yourself the day off from adulting.

RELATED: Why doing less is crucial for your happiness

19. Stop rushing

Take it slow today – constantly rushing makes our bodies think we're in danger, says wellness expert Anna Mathur.

"By slowing down, we tell our nervous system that we're safe, which can put us in an altogether happier place," she says.

20. Spend time alone

Sure, Valentine's Day is traditionally spent with a lover, but self-love is fostered by spending some time alone reflecting and just ‘being’ rather than ‘doing', according to Vasia.

DISCOVER: Why me-time is essential for a healthy, happy relationship 

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