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Denise Welch opens up about battle with depression: 'You lose the ability to have emotions of any kind'

Denise Welch spoke about how she suffered from pastpartum psychosis after giving birth to her first son, Matty

Emmy Griffiths

Denise Welch has opened up about her struggle with depression, and revealed how quitting alcohol and drugs has helped her to recover. Denise first suffered from pastpartum psychosis and clinical depression following the birth of her son, Matty. The Loose Women panellist revealed that she suffered an all-night panic attack after her newborn son whimpered, telling Happiful magazine: "I remember sitting on the settee and blackness starting from my feet, working up my body, and I was immediately in a thick, black suicidal depression. It's the most frightening thing that’s ever happened to me in my life."

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Denise opened up about her depression

She added: "I feel nothing. Depression depresses every single thing in you. At its blackest, you are void of feeling. It's the reason why Matty [lead singer of The 1975] called his song She Lays Down because when he was older I told him I used to lie down next to him as a baby and pray that something would happen to make me love him. Depression robbed me of the ability to love."  

The former Coronation Street star revealed that she would find her work schedule incredibly challenging, but felt as though she couldn't request time off for depression and ended up "self-medicating" to get through the work. Speaking about her struggle with alcohol, she admitted that she "smashed up" her partner's flat, and "never had a drink" after the incident. "Our relationship was so good, but alcohol was ruining it," she said. "I never had a drink after that night. I don't miss one thing about my life before then. I don't miss anything about alcohol. I never ever want to have another drink. I feel so much better, mentally and physically, entering my sixtieth year than I did my fortieth and my fiftieth."

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Denise said she has "learned to live" with depression

READ: Denise Welch opens up about mental breakdown

The mum-of-two added: "My mental health is a million times better. I've learned to live with depression and it's like a very unwelcome guest who I've got better at tolerating because I know the guest will leave in a short space of time. I still get episodes of depression, but they are shorter and less intense because I'm not compounding them with alcohol."

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