John Torode has revealed he has sought therapy after he was axed from MasterChef earlier this year.
The 60-year-old was fired by the BBC five months ago amid a controversy alongside his former co-host Gregg Wallace. Now, the TV chef has revealed that therapy has allowed him to "be real" following the ordeal.
Writing in his Substack newsletter, A View From The Fridge, he explained: "Therapy over the past few months has entitled me to no longer 'be brave' but instead be real.
"Fear is the instinct that keeps us alive, but should grief and fear meet each other, I wonder how much damage it can do when we decide to shut it away, shut it down and not let it flow as it should."
He added: "I have tried to set myself a schedule to write a new newsletter each week, finding a rhythm, in my tumultuous physical, illogical and physiological state of mind, has not been easy.
"What is becoming easier is being able to talk and to vocalise how I feel as I come to terms with the past five months and the impact it has had.
"Life has changed forever for me and for those close to me. There is no sympathy searching here, just honesty."
John, who married his fellow chef wife Lisa Faulkner in 2019, also revealed he has started to write a newsletter to "find a rhythm" and that with each newsletter, he feels a little "braver" before thanking his followers for supporting this latest venture.
John's contract wasn't renewed by the BBC after an independent investigation substantiated an allegation that he used an "extremely offensive racist term" in the workplace in 2018.
While the chef has denied the allegation, the BBC and production company Banijay UK stated they would not tolerate such language, leading to his effective dismissal from the show he had hosted since 2005.
Low profile
John, who has kept a low profile since the ordeal, previously claimed that staying quiet was the "best decision he ever made."
He previously wrote on Instagram: "The best decision I ever made? To be quiet and move on. I have nothing to prove.
"I'm not here to convince anyone to love me or that I'm a great person. I'm not fixing what I didn't break, and I'm not fighting for anyone to see my worth. Whatever you do is on you - and that's your journey, not mine. As for me? I'm moving forward."