National treasure Helen Mirren turned 80 at the weekend, and to celebrate her big day, a flurry of articles appeared online, with headlines along the lines of 'How Dame Helen Mirren looks so good at 80,' making waves.
Indeed, when we wrote a piece titled 'Helen Mirren's 'disciplined' military workout she's followed for 60 years' it soared to the top of our 'most read' list – such is the obsession with Dame Helen.
Much of the narrative around the thespian focuses on how amazing she looks at 80, but this isn't a notion that the Dame approves of. "'You look good for your age' is patronising," she told Harpers Bazaar a few years back. "It's insulting. We hate that compliment. We really hate it. And be prepared, if you use that phrase, to be dissed in a major way."
© Getty ImagesThe actress isn't alone in her dislike for the phrase. Jennifer Aniston, 56, told British Vogue she "can't stand" when someone says it to her. "It should actually be: You look great – period. It drives me bananas, I can't stand it... that's a habit of society that we have these markers like, 'Well, you're at that stage, so for your age…' I don't even understand what it means."
© Getty ImagesWhile Jennifer and Helen hate to be told they 'look good for their age', is it always a backhanded compliment? We asked 71-year-old Joanne Macleod for her thoughts on looking 'good for her age' – and she had some interesting insights.
Is 'good for your age' an insult?
"I know age should not define anything, but to be told I look 'good for my age' is a great compliment and can give a real confidence boost," Joanne tells us.
"For instance, at work or perhaps a party where you don't know people, new people might say, 'I can't believe you're 71, and this is morale boosting and makes me smile.
© Phill Taylor"It is often said people become invisible or overlooked over 50, especially women in the workplace, their ideas can be ignored, so to receive an age-based compliment is a real boost and makes you proud to be that older woman."
Joanne notes that being told you look good for your age won't always focus on appearance; it's about vibe, too.
HELLO!'s Second Act is a newsletter for women in midlife and beyond. It's completely free to sign up and is a one-stop-shop for advice and inspiration on the issues our Second Act community have told us matter most: health, relationships, travel, menopause, divorce, careers, finance and more.
"If you can be upbeat, positive and smile, it transforms how people see you – and can make you appear younger. Also, speaking out and having relevant opinions is key to portraying a youthful energy. Don’t fade into the background, mentally or physically."
"Talking confidently to all ages of people helps, always have something to say, connect with modern ideas and keep abreast of the current trends.
"Also using your wisdom usually gets people complimenting you, but try not to preach, as this can make people zone out and they won’t compliment you for your age – nobody likes a know it all!"
How you frame it
Women's Empowerment Coach April Wild says it's about how you frame the compliment. "We always have a choice: to focus on the negative or to embrace the good. When someone tells me I 'look good for my age,' I choose to receive it as a positive and a celebration of everything I've accomplished - my strength, raising four children, evolving my identity and stepping into the most confident, authentic version of myself.
"It's not a backhanded compliment to me – it's a reminder that strength, growth, and self-love can radiate at any age. I feel more beautiful right now in my body than I ever have before because I have dived deep into self-development over the last decade and now my business, Wild & Wild, is to empower women to thrive and find that confidence within."
Joanne summarises: "Your life becomes richer with age, but only if you keep on top of it. These should be your golden years – so take the compliment!"
