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Prince Harry and Gabor Mate: ADHD, Archie and Lilibet and drug revelations - all the key moments from 'intimate' talk

The Duke of Sussex spoke candidly about his two children, Archie Harrison and Lilibet Diana

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Matthew Moore
Matthew MooreOnline News Editor
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It is has been an eventful week for Prince Harry with news breaking that he and wife Meghan Markle would be leaving Frogmore Cottage, and he has now taken part in a chat with physician and author Gabor Mate.

In the event, for which tickets cost £17.99, Harry and Gabor had an "intimate conversation as they discuss living with loss and the importance of personal healing".

The key moments of Harry's talk included:

  • Harry says his childhood was an "adventure"
  • Harry praising Meghan for helping him understand racism and his upbringing
  • Harry discusses experiences with drugs
  • Prince Harry may have ADHD
  • Harry was always "different" from other members of the family
  • Harry aims to be a different father than King Charles
  • Harry opens up about fear of losing memories of Princess Diana
  • Harry didn't want to be seen as a victim

The event was partially hosted by Penguin Random House, who published Harry's memoir, Spare, earlier in the year. The book contained numerous references to the Duke's time as a royal and his relationships with other members of his family, and you can see the biggest revelations from the book in the video below…

WATCH: The five main revelations from Spare

Harry speaks about "secret passageways" in royal residences

Harry said he got to explore all the royal residences as a child which he described as an "adventure" but he believed it to be "normal" which wasn't the case. As to whether he discovered any trapdoors, he joked there was none like the cartoons where you would push a certain book on a bookcase, adding that if there were he probably would have gotten "trapped" in it.

Harry speaks about love for Meghan Markle

Harry explained how he felt his wife, Meghan, had "saved him" and he reflected on losing his temper with her. He revealed he needed the "pushback" from her and her questions about whether this was a reflection of how he was brought up. Not wanting to excuse himself, he admitted that he felt the question was a "lightbulb moment".

He also explained the "crash course" he got in understanding racism, noticing how Meghan was treated while in the United Kingdom, saying how racism not only affected one person, but was also a "blight" on society. The Duke also referenced his own missteps, but said he was "grateful" that he was able to learn from them and address the "unconscious bias" that he carried.

Prince Harry opened up on drug use

One of the most surprising moments from Spare was the Duke of Sussex's admission that he had taken cocaine and marijuana. Speaking about his experiences with different drugs, Harry said that while cocaine did "nothing for him" he had a more positive experience with marijuana. "Marijuana is different, that actually really did help me," he shared.

Prince Harry might have ADHD

Prince Harry speaking at mental health event© Photo: Getty Images

During the talk, Gabor theorised that Harry may have ADHD, which the Prince said he might look into. Gabor was quick to say that he didn't see this as an "illness" but more a reaction to Harry growing up in an "abnormal environment".

He also opened up about the "small bouts" of depression that he had gone through during his life. He admitted that he was "grateful" for the experience as it allowed him to emphasise with others who were going through similar feelings.

Prince Harry always felt "different"

Harry admitted that he always felt "different" from all the other members of the royal family, something that he believed his late mother also felt. He explained how when he tried to broaden his horizons, he always got the message that he should instead return to the fold and do what was expected of him.

He also reflected on "breaking free" and explained that it had felt great. He had previously given the impression that he was happy when this wasn't the case.

Harry has a different parenting style from King Charles

King Charles and Prince Harry in suits© Photo: Getty Images

In a poignant moment, Harry said he didn't want to pass any "traumas or negative experiences" onto his children, Archie and Lilibet, saying he intended to "smother them with love" in order to be different than the way he was raised.

Harry was asked about his parenting style when Gabor mentioned the lack of "touching" within the royal family, highlighting how the late Queen would greet a then five-year-old Prince Charles with a handshake whenever she returned from a royal tour instead of a hug.

The Duke said he was "grateful" to have changed his environment in order to allow him to be the father he wanted to Lilibet, but also shared his respect for those who might not be able to change their situation.

He said that escaping the royal environment means that Archie and Lilibet would be able to thrive in a way that they wouldn't have done if he had remained within the royal family. Although Gabor disagreed with him, Harry reflected that he had a "happy childhood".

During a Q+A portion, Harry said that being "vulnerable" would help him in being the "best father" to his children.

Prince Harry worried about losing feeling of late Diana

Baby Prince Harry sat on Princess Diana shoulders© Photo: Getty Images

The Duke shared his reluctance to try therapy as he feared how it would impact his memories of his late mother, Princess Diana. He spoke about how he initially believed he needed to feel bad to remain close to her, before realising that she would have wanted him to move on.

He added that going to therapy "lifted a weight off his chest" when it came to processing the post-traumatic stress that he suffered.

Circling back to his feelings at a later point in the talk, Harry expressed some happiness at keeping some of the difficult feelings that he had around his late mother, and a strange joy that came from them.

Prince Harry says he isn't a victim

Gabor started the talk by speaking about two "divergent" streams in Harry's book with some being hostile towards him and others thanking him for sharing the story.

Harry said that he wasn't a "victim" and that he hoped the book would "encourage others" and would help people see they were were connected "through trauma."

Speaking about his life over 38 years, he said he didn't want any "symapthy" from telling his story but wanted to share the moment of his life that he viewed as important instead of allowing a spin on it. He then encouraged listeners to feel "vulnerable" themselves and speak to family members.

Who is Gabor Mate?

Gabor is a Hungarian-Canadian physician and best-selling author who has produced books such as The Myth of Normal and Hold Onto Your Kids.

With his patients, Gabor often explores how trauma from past events have shaped their lives and how overcoming this can aid in recovery.

He is married to children's book illustrator Rae Mate, and together they share three children.

Keep checking back for updates during the talk…

LISTEN: Diana's reaction when her plane plunged 10,000ft in terrifying moment

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