It's the time of year when Christmas gifts are purchased, menus for the big day are being finalised and loved ones are making plans to spend quality time together. Yet the festive season can also mean navigating complicated family dynamics, which, if not handled properly, can derail even the best-laid plans.
Never fear, though, because Lady Anne Glenconner, the author and former lady-in-waiting to Princess Margaret, has just released a new memoir full of tips on how to navigate life. She has some brilliant advice on how to smooth relations over Christmas.
"I say to [the people causing problems]: 'Look, if you're going to make a fuss over that, do you still want to come?'" she tells HELLO! in this exclusive interview. "I would love to have you ... but behave yourself."
It's this no-nonsense approach to life which has made the sprightly Lady Glenconner, 93, into a wildly popular writer who recently released Manners and Mischief: An A–Z of Royal Tales and Surprising Wisdom.
Lessons for life
In it, she looks back on her remarkable life, and shares previously unseen images – including one of Princess Margaret dressed up as Mae West during a game of amateur dramatics – while offering sage advice on anything from how to exit gracefully from a bath to how to be as diplomatic as possible.
I think in life, you have to take the rough with the smooth. When you marry someone, you marry their bad parts too.
"I thought of interesting things or funny stories that have happened and I included several treasured memories," she says. "I keep my memories fresh with my hundreds of photograph books."
The new book follows her best-selling memoir, 2019’s Lady in Waiting, which revealed fascinating insights into her life alongside the royals – and harrowing details of her abusive marriage to her husband of 54 years, Colin Tennant, later Lord Glenconner.
Was she shocked that it was so well received? "It was the most extraordinary thing that has ever happened to me. I was 87, I had never written anything before, but Colin had left this horrible will which left nothing to me and I thought: 'What can I do now?'
"And then I was sitting next to this very nice young publisher at lunch, rabbiting away. And he said: 'Have you ever thought of writing a book?' When I started to prepare for it, I realised that I had had, actually, the most extraordinary life."
The eldest child of the fifth Earl of Leicester, Lady Anne Coke, was presented at court in 1950 and named Tatler's debutante of the year. Three years later, she was selected as one of the maids of honour at the Coronation of Elizabeth II.
She married Colin when she was 23 in a ceremony attended by the Queen, the Queen Mother and Princess Margaret, and the couple went on to have five children.
In 1971, she was appointed lady-in-waiting to Princess Margaret. On the surface, she and her husband led a charmed life between their Scottish castle, Glen, and the island of Mustique, which they transformed from a poorly known Caribbean island into an exclusive holiday destination.
Behind the scenes, though, there was abuse and tragedy. The couple's eldest sons died young – Charlie, who was addicted to heroin, passed away from hepatitis C in 1996 aged 39, while Henry died from an Aids-related illness, aged 29, in 1990. Their youngest son, Christopher, was left in a coma after suffering a terrible brain injury in a motorbike accident in Belize in 1987, from which she nursed him back to health.
Through it all, Lady Glenconner – now a grandmother of six and great-grandmother of five – maintained her stoic steeliness and says that she doesn't regret staying in her marriage until Colin died in 2010.
"The children were so much happier we stayed together," she says. "In a way, he was a man of many parts. He was clever and amusing, he educated me and was wonderful in lots of ways. But then the flip side was that he was dangerous as he couldn't control his temper; and because I have got this stiff upper lip I stayed with it for 54 years.
"Sometimes it was awful and I loved the time it wasn't. I think in life, you have to take the rough with the smooth. When you marry someone, you marry their bad parts too. Sadly [domestic violence] is so widespread and I've been terribly humbled by the letters I got from people and I try to help. It's difficult, because behind closed doors you don't really know what’s going on."
Through it all, her friendship with the King has been steadfast. They grew up together, and she dines often with him at Sandringham, which is only ten miles from Lady Glenconner's family home, Holkham.
"We just have the best time ever,” she says. "I talk with him about the past and all the happy times we had at Holkham. My mother was a lady-in-waiting to the late Queen, and he used to stay with us. My mother taught him how to [shape] pottery, which he loved. And when he went to Gordonstoun [boarding school], where he wasn't very happy, I think she made all the difference. She used to write to him a lot and send him books on pottery and I've got lots of letters from him to my mother.
"One said he was really excited as he was making some soup bowls and was very worried he hadn't fired them properly and that when people put soup in they might break."
She also has "great admiration" for Queen Camilla. The two women share a mutual interest in helping domestic violence charities. "My last book, Picnic Papers, was sold in aid of the charity, SafeLives, that she’s patron of and she got me on board for that. She knew a bit about my life and encouraged me to write about it."
That life has also seen Lady Glenconner attend two coronations – as well as the Queen’s, she was a guest at King Charles's ceremony in 2023. Thinking back to 1953, she says: "The Queen was not nervous, but there was obviously a certain nervousness everywhere. It was being televised all around the world and it really was the most marvellous day of my life."
And of the King's Coronation, she says: "He could only invite 120 or so close friends, so I was very honoured to be asked. And of course, it was wonderful, because I could relax. I had dinner with him three days later. I went in and he said: 'How was it Anne?' And I said 'Magnificent!'"
And the same could be said for Lady Glenconner's current state of being.
Social whirlwind
"How could I not be having the time of my life? Here I am, at 93, and the other day I went to Vienna. I did a talk and went to the wonderful opera. And then I went to Chatsworth for the Queen's Reading Room Festival, where I was sitting next to Jilly Cooper. I had the most wonderful dinner with her with lots of champagne. I couldn't believe it that just a few days later she died."
She continues: "It's fantastic because for a lot of my life, being married to Colin and being lady-in-waiting, I was invisible. I mean, quite rightly with Princess Margaret, less so with my darling husband. "So here I am at my age, suddenly I'm out with a bang. People ring me up, wanting me to do things. And I am enjoying it."
Before the HELLO! interview ends, she has some last words of advice for people hoping for a perfect Christmas Day. "I ask one or two people locally who don’t have anybody else to join me because I think it's a great time to think of other people. The thing to do is plan well in advance and make lists. And then have something rather nice to drink before everyone comes for lunch."
Pick up the latest issue of HELLO! on sale in the UK now to read the full interview. You can subscribe to HELLO! to get the magazine delivered free to your door every week or purchase the digital edition online via our Apple or Google apps.