Whether it's debating the mortification of having a boyfriend or discussing the state of dating in the modern era, there's nothing more topical than relationships. In 2025, the search for love has become more complex than ever. With dating apps feeding into ghosting culture and social media doubling up as dating profiles, it's sometimes impossible to know where to start. But before the hunt begins, it's also important to identify the five stages of a relationship and to understand if you are ready to enter into a long-term commitment according to what each step requires. With the help of experts, HELLO! has deep-dived into what being in a relationship really means, from the butterfly-inducing first date until the very end - whether that be a messy breakup or 'till death do us part!
Young, old or in between, relationships don't discriminate and while every person's preferences differ, the general framework for a typical relationship stays the same. You meet your person, googly-eyed and swept off your feet, the relationship begins in the sickly sweet honeymoon phase where nothing or no one can tell you anything other than this is the one for you. As relationships deepen and progress towards a life partnership, things become messy, convoluted and the rose tinted glasses fall off, testing the bond's ability to survive the harsh realities of the real world.
Stage 1 - The honeymoon phase
We've all been there. You lock eyes, your stomach starts whirling and everything is suddenly coloured in pink and red as your heart opens itself up to the possibility of finding love. This is called the honeymoon phase, or by some experts as the infatuation phase. It is a pure feeling of near obsession for another human being you are only starting to get to know.
© Getty ImagesEmotions are at an all time high during this stage, making it hard to decipher individual feelings and easy to ignore any early warning signs that maybe all is not as great as it seems. This is partly due to the chemicals flying around your brain, overdosing on dopamine, making every message, smile, or touch feel electric. The first phase is one of deep idealisation where flaws vanish, and your partner seems almost too good to be true.
However, there is a catch. Many couples tend to confuse this heady passion with long-term compatibility, and risk diving into a serious, committed relationship much too fast. Relationship therapist, Michaela Murphy, told HELLO!: "Overlooking things that are core needs or values will likely bite you years down the line, maybe when you are financially entangled and have children together. The advice I give to my twelve-year-old son is, when the time comes, to choose his partner wisely." She warned: "Many of the couples I see come with a specific relationship difficulty that, when we trace back, presented itself in the first few months of their relationship."
Stage 2 - Reality sets in
Just like the bursting of a bubble, all good things come to an end and as the honeymoon phase fades, differences inevitably surface. These can show their face as small disagreements, clashing habits, or contrasting communication styles that threaten a couples compatibility if not tackled correctly. In this stage, prepare to test your patience, empathy, and the ability to navigate emotional conflict.
Psychologist Mark Travers noted in Forbes that this stage generally lasts from six months to two years, and described it as being a time when "euphoria gives way to a more textured reality". He urged couples not to "draw hasty conclusions but view this stage as an opportunity for growth". Ultimately, in this stage of a relationship, uncertainty and doubt creep in but it is completely normal as it acts as the first real glimpse of what daily life together might feel like.
© Getty ImagesDuring this stage, conflict can arise as couples discover more about one another. Sofie Roos, a licensed relationship therapist and author at Passionerad, told HELLO!: "In the beginning, conflicts can feel threatening, especially if you’re afraid of losing the other, but if you stick around and learn to tackle the conflicts in a mature, respectful and communicative way, it will be a great chance of growth, and to build something really strong together."
She continued: "A common mistake is to believe that conflict is a sign that something’s wrong, while it actually is about how you handle conflicts that you should look at. If you can also go through rocky phases and don’t give up as soon as the honeymoon phase is over, you have something good. So expect that you will clash, but remember that happy couples also fight, with the important detail that they fight to try to understand, not to win!"
Stage 3 - Deepening the connection
Having weathered the wary discovery and uncertainty of phase two, couples who learned to communicate effectively and calmly will progress to the third stage of a relationship in which their connection will grow deeper. Here, couples will be exposed to acceptance, trust, and understanding grow both in themselves and in their partner. This phase is all about learning to appreciate all the qualities of their chosen partner rather than to romanticising and idealising them.
While this is a steady place to cruise along at, there's a danger lurking in complacency at this point of a relationship. According to Psychology Today: "Complacency in a relationship can lead to a diminished sense of connection and excitement. This will also hinder the growth in a relationship. When people become complacent in a relationship, they will often violate the other person’s boundaries."
"The predictability of living with someone for many years means we lose our curiosity about our partner. We think we know them inside out, so we stop asking questions," Michaela added. "Gone are the days of staying awake into the wee hours hungry to uncover every last detail about our new love, so inviting my clients to rediscover their curiosity is key to turning the relationship around."
Stage 4 - Commitment
At this point, it's fair to say both individuals in the couple are pretty much all in. The fourth stage of a relationship is all about that long-term bond that can weather a storm and make it out the other side. This stage involves a genuine partnership that operates with emotional maturity. The initial attraction has moved on and given way to deliberate decision-making about shared goals, mutual growth, and independence.
Essentially, now each partner should be maintaining their own identity while continuing to connect with each other on common values. Clinical psychologist Sabrina Romanoff urged couples not to fear stability and told Verywell Mind: "Routines tend to signify how partners are melding and integrating their lives. They provide checkpoints to harmonise with each other and be in alignment."
© Getty ImagesStage 5 - Transformation
Finally, the last piece of the puzzle comes when couples continue to grow together. Life events such as having children, work stress, death and illness surface to test the bond that has been created over many years. It is those partnerships that communicate and support each other through challenges that stand the test of time.
As Michaela put it: "Kindness, generosity of spirit (a default to thinking the best of our partner, being responsive to their bids for connection) and curiosity are such vital pillars of great long-term relationships." She continued: "If a person is willing to take a good look at their part in the dance, implement change and take some relational risks, relationships can be transformed beyond all recognition. The positive effects also ripple out to the other relationships we have with our children, our family, our friends and colleagues and that’s life-changing."
When to seek professional help
If you feel stuck in one of the stages, or notice that navigating any of the stages is leading to destructive conflict, a relationship therapist can offer a neutral and safe space to work through challenges and open up about your struggles. In the UK, you can find accredited therapists through organisations such as Relate or the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP).
