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Jada Pinkett Smith talks 'unbearable despair' in heartbreaking revelation

Will Smith's wife got deeply personal on social media

Jada Pinkett Smith has bravely opened up about some incredibly painful memories following the latest Red Table Talk episode.

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Will Smith's wife, along with her daughter Willow Smith and mother Adrienne Banfield-Norris, sat down with April Simpkins, the mother of the late Miss USA Chelsie Kryst, who took her life in January.

The heartbreaking episode saw Jada break down in tears at one point, and afterwards she shared on Instagram memories of a time she suffered from "unbearable despair".

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She wrote: "The Cheslie Kryst episode has been the most personal table for me yet. Listening to @aprils_hr, Cheslie’s mother read the note Cheslie left to her before jumping to her death, brought me right back into my experiences of such overwhelming, unbearable despair that I was consumed by everyday."

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Jada continued: "My past despair had gotten me to a point of me trying to plan an accident that I could have so that my children would not know that my death was by suicide.

Jada Pinkett Smith shared a heartbreaking message following the emotional Red Table Talk episode

"I thank the Great Divine for them, because although I may not have been enough to stay alive for myself at that time, my children were and that bought my spirit time until the Great Supreme could make a way to enter my heart and do the rest."

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The mother-of-two continued: "5 months into my 40th year I experienced a deep spiritual and psychological healing through a specific therapy that saved my life.

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Jada with husband Will Smith

"This was just the beginning. And it has been a deep 10 year journey of healing. Everyday I HAVE TO focus on my healing and it has not been without pitfalls and relapses … but I’M HERE. It’s one day at a time as I grow love and patience for myself."

READ: Jada Pinkett Smith will discuss family's 'healing' on Red Table Talk after Will Smith's Oscars incident

MORE: Jada Pinkett Smith showcases baby bump in gorgeous photo

The TV host continued to write that she has now learned to "cry for help" instead of for "the sake of the pain" and urged readers to "have faith and to find a reason to hang on."

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Will and Jada are parents to Willow and Jaden Smith 

"There is help, you just can’t see it yet but I’m living proof that that is true! Even as I sit in the pressures of this fire of deep misunderstanding around my character created by half truths that I have allowed within my story and stories told about me … I’M GRATEFUL TO BE ALIVE."

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Jada ended the emotional message by writing: "If no one has told you 'I love you' today … I LOVE YOU and so does the Great Supreme. I promise."

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