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Graham Norton and Terry Wogan's best Eurovision commentary of all time

It wouldn't be Eurovision without the sassy commentary!


graham norton eurovision
Emmy Griffiths
TV & Film Editor
May 18, 2019
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One of our favourite things about watching Eurovision – aside from the wild costumes and wide variety of incredible songs – is the sassy commentary of the entire spectacle made by Graham Norton. The host always has a cheeky line to say about some of the crazier acts, and his comments have become an essential part of viewing. Of course, he was also preceded by the late great Terry Wogan, whose resigned amusement over the whole affair set a precedent on how Eurovision commentary is done! Here are some of our favourite quotes from the pair over the years…

Graham Norton

"This year's theme is celebrating diversity. Let's see who they've chosen to host. Oh, it's three white men."

eurovision graham 1

"Oh, and in case you are wondering, there hasn't been a stage invader. She is a fully trained dancer. She is meant to be there."

"Okay, that's three minutes we'll never get back, but look at it this way; We'll never have to hear that song again."

"If you think my job's easy, check out the guy pretending to play the saxophone for three minutes."

"Don't patronise me Nikolaj, I'm 51 not dead!" – After the host tried to explain what hashtags are.

See the Eurovision contestants over the years

"You asked for Eurovision you got Eurovision. A giant piano, a burning staircase, badly performed interpretative dance. The bar has been set very high, ladies and gentlemen."

"The producers put together the running order and, given that no song that's performed at number two has ever won, it's clear they didn't think much of this. Feel sorry for France!"

eurovision surie

"It's an unusual Eurovision this year. There are lots of songs that are really quite good and brilliantly sung. This is not one of those. It's Russia."

"[Alexandra Rybak] has come back with a song called 'That's How You Write a Song.' Ironically the song is not great."

READ: Where to watch the Eurovision Song Contest 2019 in London

"Two points for us? Thank you. We'll visit."

"Some people love the song. I haven't met any of them, but that's what I'm told."

eurovision graham

"Well, that wasn't embarrassing at all, well done." – In response to the Finnish announcer reading the results in a rap.

"This will put fear into your heart – she's a devoted experimental jazz musician. She can do extraordinary things with her voice. Not pleasant things, but extraordinary."

eurovision spain

"The bad news is, you’re about to watch Albania. She's only 17, so please bear that in mind. Where was her mother? Why didn't she step in and say no?"

"Maybe I'm just old and grumpy but there isn't a single thing about this woman that doesn't annoy me. Here's Jamie-Lee, making Bjork seem great."

Terry Wogan

"I don't make the mistake of thinking [Eurovision's] a major musical event. I love the Eurovision Song Contest and it will continue long after I'm gone. Just please don't ask me to take it seriously."

"And Ukraine just wanted to be absolutely sure that the oil and the electricity rolls through." – After Ukraine gave Russia 12 points.

eurovision germany

"I've seen this, this goes on for quite some time. So if you fancy making yourself a stiff drink, or putting the kettle on, or walking the dog, this is the time to do it."

eurovision terry wogan 1

"It's been 29 years since the Netherlands won the Eurovision Song Contest. After this performance, make that 30."

"Every year I expect it to be less foolish, and every year it is more so."

eurovision terry wogan

"It's supposed to be bad. And the worse it is, the more fun it is."

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