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TODAY -- Pictured: Joanna Gaines on Tuesday, November 6, 2018© Getty Images

Joanna Gaines reflects on 'tensions' for 5 kids in reflective message

The former HGTV star and her husband Chip Gaines are parents to Drake, Ella, Duke, Emmie and Crew

Beatriz Colon
Beatriz Colon - New York
New York WriterNew York
November 12, 2024
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The end of the year coming up has Joanna Gaines in a reflective mood.

For her Magnolia Journal's latest installation, the last before the year ends, the former HGTV star opened up about how this season is bringing about change for her and her kids.

She and her husband Chip Gaines, to whom she has been married since 2003, are parents to Drake, 19, the first of the kids to head to college, Ella Rose, who just turned 18, Duke, who also recently celebrated his 16th birthday, Emmie Kay, 14, and Crew, six.

WATCH: Meet Chip and Joanna Gaines' 5 kids

Writing for Magnolia Journal, Joanna shared how a picture of her son Crew looking at his reflection in the water while out on a boat ride sparked a moment of deep reflection in her.

She first wrote: "For a parent, this season introduces a million tensions at once. You know there's so much ahead for your kids, so much growth, so much knowledge," though noted: "But at the same time, you see them already brimming with everything you could ever want for them: courage, joy, belief. In this season, it feels impossible to imagine they'll ever outgrow who they are right now."

"Unlikely, you tell yourself, that they'll ever become anything other than wholeheartedly them," she continued, further writing: "But the impossible can become possible."

Chip and Joanna Gaines attend PaleyFest NY at the Paley Center for Media in New York City on October 21© Courtesy of The Paley Center For Media
Joanna and Chip celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary last year

She then shared: "As a mother of five, I've watched how the weight of things can shift for my kids as they get older. How it shifted for me, too. I think this happens to all of us, actually. For some, it happens slowly. For others, it feels like overnight."

MORE: Chip Gaines dreading big day ahead in personal life: 'I feel conflicted'

MORE: Joanna Gaines' daughter Ella follows in older brother's footsteps with public move

"Either way, over time, the profile of the person staring back at you gets complicated. Mostly because we start to let in other people's views, too — their expectations, their assumptions. We start to see ourselves plus who we think other people see; or worse, who we think other people want to see."

TODAY -- Pictured: Chip and Joanna Gaines on Wednesday, May 29, 2024© Getty Images
Chip will be celebrating his milestone 50th birthday this year

Further reflecting on the role public perception plays, she went on: "Or, we simply start to notice that other people are watching, and the idea that eyes are on us can change everything. Courage becomes harder to find. We learn that curiosity can lead to failure. That optimism isn't always free from disappointment," admitting: "And in moments when I've lost sight of myself, that's when I'll feel shadows closing in."

MORE: Joanna Gaines' teen daughter's momentous milestone captured in rare photo together

Still from a video shared by Joanna Gaines on Instagram September 2024 featuring her son Crew, in honor of announcing her next children's book inspired by him© Instagram
Joanna shared that a photo of her son Crew made her reflect

"Those shadows we all grow into. It's the place our mind goes where insecurities and shame and fear of failing hold court. It's the place where we'll withdraw or shrink up and steal away. Where we might think we've reached safety — but never for long. And never for the better," she noted.

MORE: Joanna Gaines admits to huge transformation in personal life during honest chat with husband Chip

Photo shared by Joanna Gaines on Instagram in honor of Father's Day 2024 of her husband Chip Gaines with their three sons© Instagram
Chip with his three sons

"As a parent, as a spouse, as a friend, but also as an individual, I'm learning that I need to be equally aware of the shadow I carry and the one I cast. When it comes to the person my kids are slowly unveiling, I don't want the life I've chosen and the choices I've made — good or bad — to pigeonhole how they lead their own. I want to be close but never overshadow."

She lastly reflected: "In a world that can make it easy to lose sight of yourself, I want my kids, especially, to know how to find their way back. And when they look at the person staring back at them, I want them to know how to see — really see — themselves exactly as they were made to be."

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