Lesley Joseph, 80, likes to keep her personal life to herself, but that didn't stop the actress from making a candid admission about her grandmotherly duties at an event in October. Speaking on stage at the Variety Club Showbusiness Awards on 19 October, the Birds of a Feather star, who won the outstanding contribution to Theatre and Television award on the night, admitted: "I feel tremendous guilt for not being the grandmother my kids probably expected."
"I've never done the school run or babysitting. I just find it hard to say no to acting jobs." While the term 'mum guilt' is often discussed when it comes to parenting struggles, grandparent guilt is often overlooked. "Grandparent guilt is becoming increasingly common as many people are working longer, retiring later and juggling health or financial pressures," Dr Michael Swift of Swift Psychology tells us. "There is often a quiet assumption that grandparents should step in with regular childcare, and when that is not possible, people can feel they are letting their family down, even when the reasons are completely understandable."
Why do grandparents like Lesley Joseph feel guilty?
"Many grandparents remember how intense early parenting can be and want to protect their adult children from that strain. At the same time, ideas about what a 'good' grandparent should be like can be surprisingly rigid, and people can be very hard on themselves when they feel they are not meeting that ideal," Michael adds.
The psychologist also shares his thoughts on dealing with this feeling. "If you are feeling this way, it helps to challenge the idea that support only counts if it looks like childcare," he tells us. "Being emotionally available, showing interest, offering reassurance or helping in small, practical ways can be just as valuable. Clear, honest conversations about what you can and cannot offer also tend to reduce guilt on both sides, particularly when they are framed around care rather than limitation."
Touring theatres (like Lesley has done in Sister Act) involves eight-show weeks and constant travel, making babysitting physically impossible, not just a choice. Lesley, who has two children, Andrew and Elizabeth, from a previous relationship with Carl Littlejohn, has kept the ages and names of her grandchildren away from the public eye.
Lesley opens up about her private life
Her speech at the Variety Club Showbusiness Awards, which honours the best performers of film, theatre, television and radio, was one of the rare occasions that Lesley, who from 2022 to 2024 starred as Sister Mary Lazarus in Sister Act on the West End, has opened up about her private life. She did, however, speak openly about losing her mother in 2016. The actress told the Mirror: "Losing a mother when you are very young, that is incredibly difficult because they don't grow old with you.
"But if you lose them when they are older, you've had them all your life," she added. "I had a very close relationship with my mother. She was one of 12, and she was the last of them to die. I talk to her every day, in my head. I don't think you ever lose that – she had a thirst for life. Hopefully, touch wood, I've got her genes."
Lesley's rise to fame
Lesley has certainly shown a thirst for life through her longstanding acting career. The star rose to fame in 1989 when she was cast as Dorien Green in the hit sitcom Birds of a Feather alongside Linda Robson as Tracey Stubbs and Pauline Quirke as Sharon Theodopolopodous. The show ran on the BBC until 1998 and was revived for ITV in 2014, running until 2020.
However, her stage debut came long before that as Lesley starred as Hermia in a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream at Abington Park Museum, Northampton, in 1964. Since then, she has gained stage roles in Annie, The Addams Family, and Calendar Girls.
As far as TV, Lesley has also appeared on a number of reality TV shows, including winning the seventh series of Celebrity Coach Trip alongside Linda Robson in 2022. She also finished in 11th place on the 14th series of Strictly Come Dancing with her pro partner, Anton Du Beke.
The pair got on well, with Lesley telling the Express at the time: "I am wearing Anton out. He asks if we can have a break, and I tell him we can’t. I think he knows who is wearing the trousers."
Her advice for future Strictly contestants? "It's not real life, it is what it is, and it's beautiful, but it's not real life, it's a fantasy, and just enjoy it for what it is," she told PA.