Throughout her tenure as both the First Lady of the United States and beyond, Michelle Obama has been open and honest about her life as both a leader and a mother.
Michelle, 62, has often spoken about always placing her priority even while in office on being a good role model to her daughters with husband Barack, 27-year-old Malia and 24-year-old Sasha.
© Getty ImagesIn conversation with Alex Cooper on the latest episode of Call Her Daddy, released on January 21, the Becoming author explained that a large part of her efforts as a mother centered around teaching her daughters to always place themselves and their own self-worth first, especially above their romantic relationships.
"My husband was president, you know? But in the midst of that, I still managed to be a lawyer, run a non-profit, be an author, I can run down the list," she said, citing her own example. "I raised really sane kids, who aren't perfect, but they're really, really good."
© Michelle ObamaShe continued: "We as women, we have to support each other, we just really have to stop being a part of the fantasy." Alex mentioned an excerpt from Michelle's own memoir and her subsequent release, The Light We Carry, in which she recalls telling her daughters to start dinner without waiting on Barack to arrive, to not "believe that life began when the man of the house arrived home," and asked what advice Michelle had on that.
"I think it starts with the subliminal messages that we send our girls," Michelle responded. "I have two beautiful daughters. And you find yourself slipping up and going, 'Are you dating anyone?' Let me not make that the first question, or the second question, or a question at all."
The mom-of-two explained that while she does realize sometimes one can "run out of stuff to say to a young girl," she doesn't want the default question to simply rely on her worth as a partner and whether she's "dating anyone," something that extends beyond her daughters and to young girls in general.
"I try to talk to my mom friends about it and what that's doing," she continued. "What are our insecurities as mothers that we're [thinking], 'Well, you seem happy, you're on track, but do you have a boyfriend?'"
© InstagramMichelle noted that it manifests itself as a "social pressure" of expecting to see someone getting married down the line as a form of goal fulfillment. "So I think we have to be mindful of the way we craft questions to, not just our daughters, but our sons."
"How we talk about what happiness is, and we have to work hard to separate our fears and insecurities as parents from our kids. Because we're still carrying these old images, we're still programmed. We're still of a generation where that's what women did."
© InstagramSpeaking of her own experience, Michelle called it getting the "MRS" after going to college (then-popular slang for going to college to ultimately become someone's wife) and getting a degree, and having a career until you got pregnant, setting the expectations that were placed upon women of her own generation. "There was a path, and we carry that with us and imprint that onto our kids."
